In Between, Part 19/20

[soulmatejunkee]

Title: In Between, Part 19/20
Author: soulmatejunkee 
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: What happened between episode 4.09 and 4.10 (POV’s). It starts right after "Eat some fucking chicken soup". 
Word Count: 500 words (drabbles)
Summary: I am writing on it since weeks, so I just thought, maybe I should start posting it
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by qafkinnetic   (Thanks a lot!)
Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

I just want to thank everyone for the lovely comments on this story!!
I love reading every single one.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18



Justin's POV

1)
Sometimes something hurts so much that you can’t breathe anymore, it’s like something kills you from the inside. Lovesickness is a good example for that. When it just hits you and it just hurts and you can’t do anything to stop it. Finding out your boyfriend has cancer is also a really good example, but it gets topped by being thrown out because you found out your boyfriend has cancer. It had been almost four weeks so far and I was still pissed. It still hurt and every time I talked to Daphne about it, it came up again.

"Fuck!“


2)
She knew about the cancer, too, of course. But Brian didn’t know she knew and she promised me to not tell him, I knew I could trust her. And I needed someone to talk to. Someone who had nothing to do with it, someone who wasn’t personally involved. And she was my best friend, so of course I wanted to talk to her. She never blamed me for being angry, for being pissed, for being stupid or just for crying.

"I’m sure he learned his lesson“, she said.

"I doubt that.“

"You said he’s trusting you now.“

"Yeah, he is.“


3)
"So everything is going to be okay again. There aren’t so many radiation sessions left, right?“

I looked at her. "It’s not just that. This sucks! It’s horrible to see him like that and not being able to do anything to help him. And I can’t show him that it hurts me, because then he would think it’s pity and he would get angry and probably would throw me out again. So I play it cool.“

"It works.“

I sighed, closed my eyes and leaned my head back to the wall.

"Look, he’s Brian, he’s a fighter, he always was.“


4)
I sighed again.

"It seems to be his nature to fight against everything and everyone, including you. But that doesn’t mean he has to win, right? And I’m sure he knows that it hurts you, he’s just not good in being dependent on someone else. So take it all and then you come home and you can yell at me or throw the pillows through the room or smoke a big fat joint and get high. And the next day, you’ll take it again. It’s not that you’re not getting anything back, isn’t it?“

I laughed. "Yes, fabulous mind-blowing blowjobs.“


5)
"See“, she said and shook her head. "Lord, really?“

"Yes.“ I still laughed. I knew she was right. I knew Brian and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to change his idea of trust and love, especially not so fast. Maybe some day. But right now I had to take what I could get and deal with it. And I got a lot, not just blowjobs. I knew he loved me and needed me and he already admitted that he wanted me to stay. I already got more than I ever expected. I got him.

"I gotta go, Daph.“




TBC

Comments

[marny1.livejournal.com]

This morning I read all the cancer drabbles.

One word ... WONDERFUL.

thanks * hugs *

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot :)
I'm happy you like my little story.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

amazing Chapter once again, Steffi *hugs*
"she never blamed me for anything"... that's the best line I've read in a long long time! I can't tell you how much it means to me right now
<3

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how much it means to me right now
Well, then, I'm glad to make you a little happier with that little line *hugs*

[aaa-mazing.livejournal.com]

"...he is a fighter..." Oh, yes, he is!
What do you mean 19/20???!!! No-no-no! Don't you stop, hon. They are amazing!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

What do you mean 19/20???!!! No-no-no! Don't you stop, hon.
That's it with a gapfiller, it has to end once *gg*
Thanks a lot.

[ls1966.livejournal.com]

Amazing chapter, I always like Justin and Daphne together ;-)

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

It's a shame she wasn't around more often in the later seasons :)

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

Yeah he sure as hell did get "him" warts & all :)

Lovely chapter, it's so nice for Justin to have Daphne, I loved the way she never judged BK, just took him for what he was.

Great that he left so quickly,,don;t they have a date at Babylon?

Btw I always hated how Brian kicked Justin out of the loft, it was harsh & very cruel,,but I guess he was terrified that now he knew he was going to leave him anyway, just as he told Mikey,,fucking Mikey with the big mouth as usual,,later Jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

So, we're playing on the Anti-Mikey-Team together *gg*
And yes... they do have a date a Babylon ;-)

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

I used to like Michael, but after 206 "The Rules" epi, he got on my freakin nerves:) When he told Justin (after Justin had caught him fucking the zuchinni man) that he was living with Brian, as Brian probably felt sorry for him,,I could of smacked him one & after that he was just annoying.

So yay I guess we agree on something:) gotta love QaF.

Yay for there date,,I'm holding my breath.

PS I'll be away for a few days, so I'll catch up when I get back, just wanted you to know. I did post about it on LJ (I posted some pics, I'm off to see Adam Lambert in concert) later Jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Actually I was done with Mikey after 2.19... especially when it comes to Justin. I don't have problems with him when he's with Ben, Hunter, Brian or anyone else, but when it comes to Justin he's nothing more than a hypocrite IMO. I can't stand that "friendship" anymore after that episode...

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

OMG I can't watch 219,,the look on Brian's face as Mikey practically tells him "Justin is cheating on you" kills me.

Even Ben was onto BK, & he even told Mickey to keep his mouth shut.

The kiss of 219 was the most erotic, saddest, frightning thing I've ever seen,I think Brian could of physically hurt him that night,,OMG the pain & the angst of S2:)

later Jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I just think Michael should've talk to Justin BEFORE he runs to Brian *sigh* Because it's none of his business and it's one of the reasons why I think Brian is a way better friend than Michael, but whatever.

The end of S2 is horrible to watch, it just hurts...

But Michael was still an asshole in 3.01 and 3.02... I just couldn't stand him anymore when it was about Justin.

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

Yeah I hated that to, even Brian told him to leave him alone. He so missed him, & anything that hurt Justin, hurt Brian, as he thought he'd lost him forever.

Sigh!! OMG my heart was always in my mouth, but even apart they were amazing together, it just took 8 fucking epis to get there lol

Later Jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

The beginning of S3 wasn't as horrible (for me) to watch as the end of S2. But the end of episode 3.01 always gets me, that was heartbreaking, touching, sad... and of course I was really happy with episode 3.08... but I never felt like "It's too long" ... probably because I never hated Ethan.

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

I agree,,219 was heartbreaking, but then again as I told you I hated Justin for all the lying & the sneaking around.

You can blame Brian if you wish:) But he NEVER broke the rules. & I could care less how old Justin was, they we're his rules. Just be upfront & leave, but to do what he did at Babylon in front of everyone was humiliating (& yes I know BK was fucking Rage, it was his masterplan after all) but I still hated Justin for it & Ethan even more:)

Loved early S3, even though they were apart, you knew that something was just "still there".

Thats why I never watch TV,,so boring & so predictible, lets face it when 308 started (if you were NOT spoiled of course like me) you'd of never of gussed that those 2 would be back together again,,sigh!!! loved the office scene,,Brian Kinney had me at "Taylor" shit will I forever miss it,,now I know you'll comment back as you love Justin blah, blah lol,,but thats OK, as I know whats right & wrong & I even believed Justin thought that.

Hugs & Ill be back asap with the cancer fic,,Jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I know you'll comment back as you love Justin blah, blah lol

Nah, not really. I am not a fan of the lying and cheating as well. It's just wrong. No matter if I understand it or not, it's wrong and even though I think Brian was very disrespectful towards Justin and humiliated him more than once in the last 5 episodes... it was still wrong to lie.

And I also don't think it's about Justin's age. Most of time he's more mature than Brian, so that's a stupid argument for cheating and lying. IMO it's about the insecurities and I think it's post-bashing. But I never only blamed one of them. I hated what Brian did and how he act towards Justin after 2.15 - which is a shame because before that S2 was almost perfect.

O and, YES... I do love Justin and I hated to see him so sad and in almost every scene in tears. I don't think he deserved that either. IMO this is not only about Brian being hurt.

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

It was after 215 that Clip got the go ahead for another season. So of course they made Brian an asshole & Justin a cheating liar:)

It did however give us an unforgetable S3, but shit they almost broke my widdle heart, when Brian threw back the bed covers so Justin could climb in, even though he knew he'd lost him sob,sob!!

Off to bed, Ill catch up when I get home, hugs Jx

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

sorry to barge in again like this but i just have to say I sooo want to be you right now Jackie!!
you're going to see Adam in concert?? do you have good sits? I hope he wears those lether pantz for you LOL
I can't wait to hear all about it! have a blast!!

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

Thats ok:)

Truly I know very little about him,,I;m still a "Gale Girl" lol,,but I do like his music, my kids love him as well.

Ill give a glowing report Im sure when I get back, thanks Jx

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

I'm a Gale girl too but Adam just complete the picture for me.
I'm sure you'll get to know much more about him after the concert :D

[manueladb.livejournal.com]

I'm glad Justin has Daphne to talk with. He needs someone to support him, in a situation like this. And she's the best of friends.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Jup, thought he might need someone, too :)

[7wildwaysup.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad he has Daph to vent too...

It's very stressful to care for a cancer patient, and most don't want the help or for you to see them at their worst.

My sister finally figured out that her friends needed to feel needed, and she finally allowed them to do simple tasks to help. Like mail the bills, vacuum or do a load of laundry...

Great update ~ Kathleen

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Yeah, especially if you care about someone, if you love someone, you want to be needed, you want to do something - just something.

Thanks for reading and for your comment.

[pam81.livejournal.com]

Daphne is the friend that everyone should have.
Glad she's there for Justin =)

Wonderful update hon!

One more and then this will finish.... sigh
But all good things come to the end, right? ;)

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)
Well, yeah, lets end it as long as it is good :)

[spike7451.livejournal.com]

Justin is so lucky to have a friend like Daphne.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

He is :)

[sjmpets.livejournal.com]

i am so going to miss this.

daphne always makes him see what's right in front of him.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Awww thank you :)

[rainbow1907.livejournal.com]

"See“, she said and shook her head. "Lord, really?“ LOL

Everybody should be so lucky to have a friend like Daphne!!!

Oh boy, I'll really miss my daily dose of In Between when you have finished this... sniff, sniff... but still thank you ever so much for today's dose :)

Hugs, Rena ♥

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Gern geschehen... und irgendwie glaub ich, ich werd die täglichen Kommentare auch vermissen :)

[britinlvr.livejournal.com]

since you're about to post the last part (and i'm very sad about that, btw!) i thought i'd finally show you some appreciation. :) i stumbled upon your gapfiller a few days ago when i was searching for some new brian/justin fanfiction. i think you had posted up to part 14 or so and i've been anxiously awaiting the next part every day since! you have captured both their personalities so well; brian's sweet stubbornness and justin's sweet persistence. i can't wait to read anything else you've written about them, especially anything anti-michael or anti-mel. or both. heh!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

By now I haven't written anything Anti... *lol*
But well, maybe one day.

Thanks for your lovely comment :)