In Between, Part 19/20

[soulmatejunkee]

Title: In Between, Part 19/20
Author: soulmatejunkee 
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: What happened between episode 4.09 and 4.10 (POV’s). It starts right after "Eat some fucking chicken soup". 
Word Count: 500 words (drabbles)
Summary: I am writing on it since weeks, so I just thought, maybe I should start posting it
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by qafkinnetic   (Thanks a lot!)
Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

I just want to thank everyone for the lovely comments on this story!!
I love reading every single one.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18



Justin's POV

1)
Sometimes something hurts so much that you can’t breathe anymore, it’s like something kills you from the inside. Lovesickness is a good example for that. When it just hits you and it just hurts and you can’t do anything to stop it. Finding out your boyfriend has cancer is also a really good example, but it gets topped by being thrown out because you found out your boyfriend has cancer. It had been almost four weeks so far and I was still pissed. It still hurt and every time I talked to Daphne about it, it came up again.

"Fuck!“


2)
She knew about the cancer, too, of course. But Brian didn’t know she knew and she promised me to not tell him, I knew I could trust her. And I needed someone to talk to. Someone who had nothing to do with it, someone who wasn’t personally involved. And she was my best friend, so of course I wanted to talk to her. She never blamed me for being angry, for being pissed, for being stupid or just for crying.

"I’m sure he learned his lesson“, she said.

"I doubt that.“

"You said he’s trusting you now.“

"Yeah, he is.“


3)
"So everything is going to be okay again. There aren’t so many radiation sessions left, right?“

I looked at her. "It’s not just that. This sucks! It’s horrible to see him like that and not being able to do anything to help him. And I can’t show him that it hurts me, because then he would think it’s pity and he would get angry and probably would throw me out again. So I play it cool.“

"It works.“

I sighed, closed my eyes and leaned my head back to the wall.

"Look, he’s Brian, he’s a fighter, he always was.“


4)
I sighed again.

"It seems to be his nature to fight against everything and everyone, including you. But that doesn’t mean he has to win, right? And I’m sure he knows that it hurts you, he’s just not good in being dependent on someone else. So take it all and then you come home and you can yell at me or throw the pillows through the room or smoke a big fat joint and get high. And the next day, you’ll take it again. It’s not that you’re not getting anything back, isn’t it?“

I laughed. "Yes, fabulous mind-blowing blowjobs.“


5)
"See“, she said and shook her head. "Lord, really?“

"Yes.“ I still laughed. I knew she was right. I knew Brian and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to change his idea of trust and love, especially not so fast. Maybe some day. But right now I had to take what I could get and deal with it. And I got a lot, not just blowjobs. I knew he loved me and needed me and he already admitted that he wanted me to stay. I already got more than I ever expected. I got him.

"I gotta go, Daph.“




TBC

Comments

[7wildwaysup.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad he has Daph to vent too...

It's very stressful to care for a cancer patient, and most don't want the help or for you to see them at their worst.

My sister finally figured out that her friends needed to feel needed, and she finally allowed them to do simple tasks to help. Like mail the bills, vacuum or do a load of laundry...

Great update ~ Kathleen

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Yeah, especially if you care about someone, if you love someone, you want to be needed, you want to do something - just something.

Thanks for reading and for your comment.