soulmatejunkee | In Between, Part 15

Entry tags:

brian justin fanfiction cancer in betwee

In Between, Part 15

Title: In Between, Part 15/?
Author:

soulmatejunkee
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: What happened between episode 4.09 and 4.10 (POV’s). It starts right after "Eat some fucking chicken soup".
Word Count: 500 words (drabbles)
Summary: I am writing on it since weeks, so I just thought, maybe I should start posting it
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by

qafkinnetic (Thanks a lot!)
Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

I just want to thank everyone for the lovely comments on this story!!
I love reading every single one.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14

Brian's POV

1)
He didn’t say anything about my condition and the towels on the bathroom floor – which magically disappeared. I wondered where he took them.

I knew he thought I didn’t want to talk about it and he was right. I wouldn’t know what to say, because I didn’t expect it to be as bad as it was, either. But after two days of not talking about it, I got a little nervous. After all, he is still Justin, he loves to discuss everything. And I knew with the next radiation coming up in two days there was stuff to talk about.

2)
He sat at the table and worked on his essay about the baroque vein. We had eaten something and normally we would fuck now, but he didn’t even try to come near me. The doctor said that the radiation wouldn’t have any effect on my sex drive, but the surgery-pain was still there. It had gotten better, but it wasn’t gone.

The other problem was, that I wasn’t even sure I would want to be naked in front of him. Except that I had a perfectly shaped penis right now, it just felt weird to know that he knows. Imperfection.

3)
He kinda ignored me. Not if I asked him something or if I needed something, but otherwise he didn’t come near me. Why did he always have to scare me? Why couldn’t he just tell me that it’s disgusting and that he couldn’t even imagine to ever be with me again? It was obvious.

"Bullshit, Brian“, he mumbled without looking up from his essay.

I realized I was staring at him. I shook my head. "I didn’t say anything.“

"You were thinking.“

I’m convinced I wasn’t thinking loud and that we’re not able to do telepathy. "How do you know?“

4)
"Because you’re always thinking.“ He was still not looking up from his essay. "That wouldn’t be so bad if you just would stop thinking shit like that.“

„How do you know what I was thinking?“

"It’s all over your face.“

"You didn’t even look at me.“

Now he did and raised an eyebrow.

I smiled brightly – all over my face. He just laughed and shook his head.

"You so fail at playing it cool.“

I sighed and sat down beside him. "How’s it going?“

"I’m almost done. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m a born genius, isn’t it?“

5)
"Depends on…“, I sighed and bit my lip.

"Want me to go?“ he asked.

"Do you want to go?“

"Not my question.“

"But my answer.“

Now he sighed and took my hand. "No, I do not want to go. But I thought maybe you want to have some alone time. And the only way for you to get that is between the treatments, because there’s absolutely no chance that I will leave you alone right after the radiation again.“

I nodded. "I figured. So, what happened to my towels?“

He leaned forward. "They’ll be back tomorrow.“

Then he kissed me.

TBC

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

this is so cool I had just finish reading part 14 which was gret and was like I wish 15 was up and 3 minutws later it wa.

this was good loved this part

"Want me to go?“ he asked.

"Do you want to go?“

"Not my question.“

"But my answer.“

Brian still does not get it he still thinks he needs to be perfect to be loved, but I am hoping eventually Justin will wear him down. Brian's calm acceptance that Justin would not concede on being on hand after the radiation treatment does show growth lol.

"So, what happened to my towels?“

He leaned forward. "They’ll be back tomorrow.“

Someone who didn't know their relationship wouldn't know that those two short sentences said A LOT! Brian not pretending he's fine by acknowledging the towels and Justin letting him know that it's okay, it's just life and those towels on the bathroom floor just represented one of the horrible parts of life they are getting through, and tomorrow they'll start fresh with clean towels and he'll wash them and bring them back as many times as Brian needs him to!

Well, that was certainly way too deep for 2:35 in the morning! I think I made myself cry! :-)

I love the subtext of these drabbles. Each one says so much! (It's a good thing I don't get in the mood to analyze all of them like this or you'd never get rid of me!) :-D

Hugs, Cindy

Thanks a lot :)
Try to post one chapter per day.

Well, he's still Brian.
It's hard hard work to convince him that he hasn't to be perfect to be loved.
But Justin keeps working on it :)
Thanks for your comment.

O, I love reading your analyzes Cindy :)
It's a great compliment and it's also very interesting.
Thanks a lot for that great comment.

Have I already told you are amazing? And your fic is. Thanks a lot!

Loved this part.
It's amazing to see how Justin is able to know that Brian is thinking and that what he's thinking are just bullshits.
They know each other so well.
Well done hon =)

Not sure, just... say it agaaaain *gg*
Thanks a lot for your comment.

At least Justin seems to know Brian *gg*
Thanks a lot.

I loved this chapter, I actually smiled whilst reading it.
They are so in love & so together, even in a fucked up Brian Kinney sorta way:)

Loved the ending,,yay he kissed him xx

Wonderful update, I think he finally gets it, that he's never leaving him again,,Bravo Love jx

This was once again perfect to read. Good thing I'm alone here because I'm both crying and grinning at the same time which might look a bit weird to other people. Justin gets better at reading Brian and Brian gets better at accepting Justin's help. One day Brian might even understand that he doesn't need to be perfect for Justin to love him. Wonderful, thanks! <3 Rena

...at least not because of cancer.

Thanks for your comment.

Danke schön :)

Its such a amazing story. I love it. Just goes to show that you don't need grand gestures and big words to show your love. All it takes sometimes is presence and understanding. Beautiful story :D

Why would anyone ever leave Brian Kinney?

Not for cancer, not for anything,,later Jx

Well, tbh, I would do it for the same reason(s) Justin did twice. I think it's really hard to love someone like Brian Kinney.

Thank you so much :)

I'm not a lover of Justin:) for 3 seasons I was, but not for the last 2, especially S5.

Poor writing on behalf of C/Lip, but we wont get into it:) we will be here all night.

Brian Kinney in my opinion loved Justin way to much, & in the end it was all for nothing. BUT in my world as IF he'd leave him, C/Lip just wanted to screw us over :)

Later J.

I love how Justin knows what Brian's thinking without him saying a word.
Still loving this story, I hope you continue for a while.

I've just read all of the parts and am absolutely amazed about your talent!

Thanks a lot for those moments of Brian&Justin's life. It's so wonderfull to have a chance to empathize with their feelings again!

You're doing a really great job!

Thanks a lot!)))

See, I am a Justin's Girl *gg*
So no we won't agree (but most people "hate" Justin for S2, it's nice to read it about S4 and S5).

I also don't think that in the end it was for nothing, who said they broke up? Not even CowLip said that.

I don't think that Brian loved Justin more than Justin loved Brian, but I think Brian needed him way more than vice versa. (but that's about the childhood, it's the same with Michael)

I never disliked Brian ... I could understand him, I knew where he was comming from ... and same goes for Justin, so IMO they were very well written, even though from time to time they both annoyed me *gg*

For a little while, yes... :)

You're welcome, thank you :)
I'm glad you like my little story.

Oh I hated Justin for leaving Brian for Ethan:) But I loved S3 so much, as after 308 they were more in love than ever!!

Justin was always so selfish (well to me he was) he wanted it all & when he finally got it ALL, he up & left him, just like that!

I never wanted them to marry, so C/lip did me a favor, but Brian all alone killed me & thousands more as well, I guess you just had to have faith & believe,,but Justin always left him, & Brian always took him back.

See we will never completely agree, but 308 Justin & 307 (where he smacks Ian in the face with the red roses) can stay lol

Im off to bed,,love your story,,hugs Jx

It would be boring if we'd all agree *gg* I love a good discussion. Sometime someone says something and I think "O, right, I never thought about that".

IMO they're both stubborn and they really suck at compromises, which IMO is the main problem in S5. I wouldn't call any of them selfish. (Melanie is a selfish character for me)

But Brian can be very disrespectful.

I also never wanted them to marry, that would've been way too much! So YEAH for cancelling the wedding, but also YEAH for proposing.

But... the thing is, IMO Justin totally ignored his own wishes and needings to be with Brian, simply because he loved Brian and thought he could handle it, but you can't always ignore what you want and need, it just doesn't work. One day you'll get angry when nothing changes and you start to expect more. So IMO Justin was right to leave when he realized that he was expecting too much.

Sure, it was sad and I felt way more sorry for Brian in S5 than in S2, but way its better than waiting until it escalates again, as it did in S2.

And ... it was about time that Brian let his walls fall.

you so get Brian and Justin and there nuances and how there realtionship works, I love coming here and finding a new update, I shall be bereft when your done with this fic

but I have saved it to savour again and again when I need some good Brian and Justin fic

Thanks a lot :)

You know I plowed through all 14 chapters the last couple of days and figured that I'd have to wait for eternity for the next...

And look its Christmas!!! What a surprise...

Loving this story, and all the range of emotions your putting our boys through... Lord knows it can be a very trying time...

Later Sweetheart ~ Kathleen

That's cute :)
Thanks a lot, I love reading that people like my little FF.

brian should just accept that justin will be there and stop worrying is he or isn't he, will he or won't he. i dont know what else justin can do to ease his mind.

"I’m convinced I wasn’t thinking loud and that we’re not able to do telepathy." boy is he wrong about that because if that was the case, justin wouldn't be so on to him.

A truly wonderful chapter, Justin knows Brian sooooo well. Amazing story, look forward to each and every update.

I like this Justin who not shy away from Brian.

The talks, just great, very in cannon.

I loved it.

Well, I adored the "Chicken Soup"-Justin. *gg*
Thanks for your comment.

Thank you :)

I guess Brian can't just believe in love... not yet.

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