Back... and still blind

[soulmatejunkee]

Yeah, hey, me... back!

Not sure if I'll be able to explain this in english, lets try as good as possible.

So this morning we went to the clinic and they ran some tests and then I spoke to the doc and he checked my eyes, too, etc. etc. and he said that in the main my eyes are in a good shape and that I'm in the run for a LASIK surgery.

But...

...there was one part of my cornea that isn't 100% fine and the results from the tests could mean that I do have a cornea-disease - which doesn't have to be something bad or dangerous for me, but could easily become a problem if they touch the cornea (what they would do at surgery).

So he told me to use some eye drops and come for a re-check in February 2012 to do the same test again and to check if the results are still the same or if they change for the better. If they become better, so he said, there wouldn't be a problem for me to get into a LASIK surgery. But he wants to be sure!

So, here I am... depressed!

You know, 3 months more or less, fuck it, but it's... I just expected this day to change something for me, something big, and now nothing changed (and it probably never will!). And that makes me sad and angry (fucking eyes, isn't it enough to be hardcore myopic, does it have to be a cornea-problem - probably disease - too?! W.T.F.)

Comments

[rainbow1907.livejournal.com]

Awww, man! I'm sorry to hear that... it sucks!

*hugs you tightly*

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thank you *sniff*

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

That really sucks, sweetie, and not in a PLAW!!
I hope things will improve for you soon.
*hugs you tight*
V.

[jencrisscolfer.livejournal.com]

ROFL. I really had to think for a few seconds what "PLAW" could mean. Then I saw your icon and then it hit me and I could hear Brian's voice clearly xD

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Yes, that really sucks! *sniff*

I'm sad, angry and depressed!

[jencrisscolfer.livejournal.com]

Das tut mir echt voll leid für dich. Fühl dich von einer halb-blinden ganz doll gedrückt.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Danke schön *schnief*

Das wär alles nicht so schlimm, wenn ich nicht so ne Erwartungshaltung gehabt hätte, dass jetzt alles anders wird. Ich mein, es ist ja nix schlimmer geworden, es ist einfach nur so'n scheiß Gefühl... :(

[pet0511.livejournal.com]

I was so curious how it went. I understand you being sad now but honestly, Steffie: there is still a chance, right? And even if it won't work: me as the old one here says some things just are like they are. It sucks, yes, but the most important thing is that there is no danger for your eyes, at least so I understood.
Ok, I see, that wasn't so much helpful...sorry! I'll shut up for now.
Hugs, Pet

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Of course the doctor was right to say "no" when there's a danger for me, I'm not mad or angry at him, I'm just pissed because it happened. Why??! Just for once things could work out just the way they were supposed to.

Unfortunately, crying doesn't help either *sigh*
I'm just sad... this was supposed to be a new beginning.

[pam81.livejournal.com]

I've just seen your previous post and then this one...

It sucks! I'm so sorry hon.
Keep the faith... the surgery is still possible, right?

I wish I could say something to make you feel better....

*hugs*

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

IF the last result will be better in February it's possible, yes. But if not, not. And now I am not as positive anymore as the doctor was.

It was like creating a bubble that says, that everything will change - for the better. And then someone showed up and the bubble... PUFF!

:(

[randysgirl-645.livejournal.com]

aww *hugs* you'll see how 3 months go by fast!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

And hopefully February leads into a better result.

[manueladb.livejournal.com]

First, you are braver than me. I need glasses too (well, I use contact lens) and I would love to have a full sight back, but I'm too scared to even think about getting laser.
I hope the results of the next tests are gonna be good so you can have this surgery *hugs*

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I was scared, too - for a really long time actually. And now when I was finally over it and wanted to do it, I couldn't *sniff*

Sometimes, honestly, life just sucks! GRMPF

[bksbracelet.livejournal.com]

OMG I am so sorry to hear of your dissappointment I hope you have better news in February

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Me too, thank you :)

[galehot.livejournal.com]

Why expecting always the worst?? maybe on February they say, yes, it's ok, we can do it, and then your life will change for better!! I hope it will come truth!!

Sorry about the news!!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Right now I'm just not in the mood for thinking positive...

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

Hi Babe,,so sorry to read this,,please feel happier soon,,sending lots of hugs your way,,I hate to see your crying:) love ya jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks Sweetie *hugs*

Surgery delay

[alx4426.livejournal.com]

The nurse in me wants to let you know that the better your eyes are before you go to survey the easier the recovery. Though as a fellow eye glass wearer hoping to get the surgery I offer my shoulder, brownies and many tissues :-( Hang on and wait for the sun to shine you will get there!! Good luck!!!

Re: Surgery delay

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

The moral part of me knows it's better this way... but it's just... today was supposed to be the first day of my new life and now it's just a Thurday... you know? *sniff*

Re: Surgery delay

[alx4426.livejournal.com]

I do not know what to say except sorry. It must be so disheartening. The holidays are approaching maybe that will help distract you? I wish there was something I could say but I seriously lack the wisdom when I can relate to such a let down. I could sing you a song but that might make it worse. ( my kids laugh when I sing somehow I do not think it is from joy) . Let me know if there is anything I can do from Pennsylvania, USA? I would love to send you something.

Re: Surgery delay

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Awww, that's cute :) *hugs*
I'm okay. I'm angry and sad, but I'm okay :)
It's not that I lost anything, it just felt like a betrayl.

I'll get over it, what else can I do?

[later2nite.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear this news, Steffi. I totally understand how RL can be so disappointing. But, like Pet says, try to look on the positive side. Things will probably be better in February. Hang in there.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be more positive about it, honestly. Because if I'll be and then it's the same shit again... no thanks. So I'll just use the eye drops and show up there at February and try to get used to the fact that I'm going to wear my glasses until I die.

[love4movies.livejournal.com]

Schade, Du hattest Dich so gefreut und nun so ein Rückschlag. Aber immerhin heisst es ja nicht, dass die OP per se unmöglich ist. Und Vorsicht ist die Mutter der Porzelankiste. Unvorstellbar, wenn operiert worden wäre und dann wären evtl. schlimme Folgeschäden gekommen. Glück im Unglück. Das Problem ist erkannt und nun wird dran gearbeitet.

2012 wir Dein Jahr! Augen-OP, Traumurlaub und Con mit G&R. :D

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Irgendwie fühlt man sich um etwas betrogen... doofes Gefühl.

Ich freu mich nach wie vor auf Urlaub und Convention, aber das tröstet nicht über das hinweg, was jetzt eigentlich schon sein sollte und nicht ist.

surgery delay

[altair65.livejournal.com]

Ouch! Sorry baby that just sucks! Me too, I'm very pissed off when things are not on the path they were supposed to be. Just let's make it this way: patience is a virtue for the strongest ones.
A big hug!

Re: surgery delay

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

It's been 3 days now and it seems I'm over it.
I'm using the eye drops and ... see what happens.

It still sucks!
But I'm not crying anymore.