Changes, Part 2 (You & Me Series)
Jul. 21st, 2011 01:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soulmatejunkeeTitle: Changes, Part 2/? (You & Me-Series)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
soulmatejunkee
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: Post 5.13; POV's
Word Count: 1.884
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
Beta:mander3_swish - thank you so much!
As always: Every comment is welcome. I Love to read what you think. Thanks!
01. Listen to me
02. Trust me
03. Babylon Part 1 | Part 2
04. Find a way Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
05. ...remember what's missing?
06. The Party
07. Thanksgiving 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
08. 1 wedding, 4 rings... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
09. The first Webcam Sex Chat
10. The first call
11. Expectations - Happy Valentine | Revenge
12. March 18th 2006
13. Aftermath - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
14. Be careful what you wish for
15. Changes - 1 | 2
Brian's POV
It happened slowly. At first I couldn’t figure out what was happening, or rather what had changed because it seemed that we had really worked it out - that we had found a way. Having a long distance relationship was complicated.
We were seeing each other every weekend and we were talking on the phone or webcam almost daily, or sometimes we simply just emailed.
I don’t remember when 'it' started. As I said, it happened slowly.
Compared to how we started when he had moved to New York we were doing very well. He finally had found a place in the art world, and even though he hadn’t had his own show so far, he was on his way to become a serious artist.
His agent, Bill, was a really good guy. He had a lot of ideas and somehow they all worked out. Justin’s first show at Bloom’s gallery was very successful. Eventhough he hadn’t been the star of the show, he got some very good reviews and he enjoyed the day. So did I of course. I was happy for him, I was proud of him, and probably for the first time ever I didn’t expect anything bad to happen come from it.
And after I had failed so gorgeously the last time, I wanted to make it better this time.
“I’m proud of you,” I said, when we were at the gallery and watched some of the art critics looking at his art.
And this time I also got the right answer. He looked at me and then he smiled, obviously happy and his eyes were bright. It reminded me of the day we had tried on our tuxes for the wedding and I had told him that he looked beautiful. He looked at me as if he had never expected that.
“Really?” he asked me, just like when he asked me I do? back then.
Normally Justin doesn’t have a small ego, but I guess what they say is right - sometimes you just need to hear it to believe it’s true.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
He got up on his tiptoes and kissed me. “Thank you.”
With all of the new, positive reviews out there, Bill started to work and two months later, one week before Justin had planed to come home for one month, he had two shows in Philadelphia and Providence. Both were small galleries, and therefore small shows, but he was happy and excited. He even managed to work things out with Zack so that he could keep his job, since he enjoyed doing that, too. Finally, Justin didn’t hate New York anymore.
He was a little disappointed when I had to tell him I couldn't be at either shows, but it was impossible for me to be at every show - especially if Bill kept working things out so successfully. After all, I was also a businessman and had work to do. Plus, Justin neverjoined me when I had business trips. Okay, I had never asked him to. Maybe I should do that.
“I’ll call you after the show,” he told me when we were talking on the phone.
“It will be a success,” I answered.
After the month he spent at home, including a bout of the fucking flu, the successes kept rolling in. Philadelphia, Providence, Boston, Portland, Richmond, Baltimore, and at the end of the year he ended up in Washington, D.C. It was like he had shows simply everywhere on the eastside of America, except for New York.
“Bill said that New York is really arrogant,” Justin told me. “Some of them want money for showing my paintings and others are only willing to show one painting… Well, he said if I wanted to, we could pay them, but I don’t think I want that. The reviews are good and Bill is sure that sooner or later New York will have to accept me as a newborn star. So I'll keep taking every show and every review, and in the end, New York will be begging for me.”
“Now you’re talking,” I said.
So far everything had worked out perfectly. Kinnetik was very successful, and Justin celebrated his painting successes every weekend we spent at the house. Finally his muse had been back and from what I could see he was better than ever. He had even sold some of his stuff during the shows and got some money out of it.
“I couldn’t live from my set sales alone, but… it’s so cool to make some money with painting!”
And having happy sex was so much better than having sad sex.
During Thanksgiving – which he spent at home of course – we had a lot to be thankful for. Of course we didn’t talk about it, I mean … after all we’re still aren't dickless, but the last year has definitely been one of the best we’ve ever had. Except for the fucking idiots who tried to kill us and to burn down our house, we haven’t had any drama.
“We are both successful,” Justin said.
“And beautiful and hot,” I finished his sentence.
We were, everything was, perfect. That was when I realized the changes for the first time, when I realized something was wrong, but I didn’t say anything. There was no reason, we were happy, so why bother?
Justin's POV
Between Christmas and New Years Eve, Michael and I had a very small convention for Rage in Pittsburgh. I have absolutely no idea how Bill had managed to get the GLC involved, but we were allowed to use their hall for it.
And just as Bill had planned, the convention managed to show off some of my other work and fuck… he was right, people were interested in it. They asked us for autographs! I mean, really...
I tried to involve Brian in it – as the original Rage. He rejected the idea, of course. Okay, he was a serious businessman, and I could understand that. I just enjoyed signing my own autographs. There weren’t any critics, only the local TV station, but that was okay. It was just cool.
That little convention was an amazing success for Michael and I. For the first time ever I realized how much Rage really meant to him. It was his dream coming true! Just like I had always wanted to be an artist, he had always lived for his comics.
Knowing this, seeing it during that little event, helped me a lot. Every time I was not keen on drawing the Rage-stuff I remembered that moment. Sure, I didn’t owe him, but… for some reason I was proud to be someone who was able to help someone else live out his dream. So I kept drawing Rage and his evil enemies, and people loved it.
Life went on, and as you know… it was like those stupid feelings you sometimes have, that when everything simply was perfect, that something bad could happen at any moment. It’s bullshit; we’re not living in a soap opera, but it was how I felt.
It was my 24th birthday when I realized ‘it’ again. Something was wrong, something had changed, and something was not the way it should be, even though nothing bad had happened. Everyone was fine, happy, and healthy – more or less.
I didn’t celebrate my birthday because I was simply too busy. Of course the girls in the office were hugging me all the time – they just loved me. Josh had made me a special roommate-breakfast in the morning, and he even invited me to go out that night, but that was it.
I did get some calls during the day, and when Emmett called me to congratulate me I told him to say hi to Drew for me and Emmett replied, “Oh baby, it’s better to not talk to him these days. He’s totally pissed because of this shitty accident that had happened in the shower. I’m sure he would congratulate you, too, if he was able to think… well… straight. But it’s just… it’s hard for him.”
Huh? I shook my head. “What accident? What happened?”
I hadn’t heard about it. I was shocked when Emmett filled me in on the details! It had been a stupid accident in the shower after training. Drew had slipped and had broken his pelvis, hip, and his left arm. He also had a severe concussion and the doctors had told him that he probably wouldn’t be able to play professional football anymore.
“It’s horrible,” Emmett said. I think he almost cried. “He’s just… it’s…”
“I’m so sorry.” I really was. I mean, Drew and I weren’t that close, but… fuck, that wasn’t good news.
“No it’s okay, really,” he sniffled. “This is your special day, enjoy it and don’t think about us. We’ll find a way. I mean, we have to.”
I didn’t see Emmett much, except for the weekends when we went to Babylon, but even though Em and I are friends and there’s no doubt that if we needed someone, we would be there for each other. We barely spoke or called that much to catch up anymore since I had moved to New York.
I had no doubt, that Brian had known about the accident, and there was also no doubt that he didn’t tell me about it. And that was it… I wasn’t involved in the happenings of my extended family anymore. I didn’t expect an urgent call as soon as Drew got hurt, but at least a mention of it when we did see each other. It was a big thing; it was something important.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Drew?” I asked Brian on the weekend.
He just looked at me and shrugged. “Guess I forgot. I mean, it was an accident, he survived, and he will be okay.”
“Emmett told me that Drew won’t be able to play football again.”
“He’ll get over it. A few years more or less, what’s the difference?”
The difference was, that I had no idea that it had happened and felt left out! “Emmett said it’s hard for him.”
“Well, having a broken hip and pelvis would be hard for anyone.”
“Will this all have an effect the Brown Athletics’ deal?”
“No. Not yet. As long as the press is all about the pity for him, it helps the deal. Later, when he won’t be as popular anymore, it could become a problem, yes. It’s nothing we can’t handle,” he answered, rolled on top of me and kissed me. “And now we concentrate on something more important again, ok?”
It was a weird feeling. I definitely wasn’t a part of their lives anymore – not a part of their daily routine and that included Brian as well. Otherwise he would’ve told me about it. It made me sad and homesick.
When I saw Emmett again a week later, he practically fell into my arms. He tried to be strong, not to cry, but it seemed that Drew was really hard to take since he knew his career was over. All too soon I was gone again, back to New York.
I couldn’t change it, I couldn’t do anything, and so I settled for ‘it’ - again. Things changed, so what?
TBC
Author:
soulmatejunkee Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: Post 5.13; POV's
Word Count: 1.884
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
Beta:
mander3_swish - thank you so much!As always: Every comment is welcome. I Love to read what you think. Thanks!
01. Listen to me
02. Trust me
03. Babylon Part 1 | Part 2
04. Find a way Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
05. ...remember what's missing?
06. The Party
07. Thanksgiving 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
08. 1 wedding, 4 rings... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
09. The first Webcam Sex Chat
10. The first call
11. Expectations - Happy Valentine | Revenge
12. March 18th 2006
13. Aftermath - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
14. Be careful what you wish for
15. Changes - 1 | 2
Brian's POV
It happened slowly. At first I couldn’t figure out what was happening, or rather what had changed because it seemed that we had really worked it out - that we had found a way. Having a long distance relationship was complicated.
We were seeing each other every weekend and we were talking on the phone or webcam almost daily, or sometimes we simply just emailed.
I don’t remember when 'it' started. As I said, it happened slowly.
Compared to how we started when he had moved to New York we were doing very well. He finally had found a place in the art world, and even though he hadn’t had his own show so far, he was on his way to become a serious artist.
His agent, Bill, was a really good guy. He had a lot of ideas and somehow they all worked out. Justin’s first show at Bloom’s gallery was very successful. Eventhough he hadn’t been the star of the show, he got some very good reviews and he enjoyed the day. So did I of course. I was happy for him, I was proud of him, and probably for the first time ever I didn’t expect anything bad to happen come from it.
And after I had failed so gorgeously the last time, I wanted to make it better this time.
“I’m proud of you,” I said, when we were at the gallery and watched some of the art critics looking at his art.
And this time I also got the right answer. He looked at me and then he smiled, obviously happy and his eyes were bright. It reminded me of the day we had tried on our tuxes for the wedding and I had told him that he looked beautiful. He looked at me as if he had never expected that.
“Really?” he asked me, just like when he asked me I do? back then.
Normally Justin doesn’t have a small ego, but I guess what they say is right - sometimes you just need to hear it to believe it’s true.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
He got up on his tiptoes and kissed me. “Thank you.”
With all of the new, positive reviews out there, Bill started to work and two months later, one week before Justin had planed to come home for one month, he had two shows in Philadelphia and Providence. Both were small galleries, and therefore small shows, but he was happy and excited. He even managed to work things out with Zack so that he could keep his job, since he enjoyed doing that, too. Finally, Justin didn’t hate New York anymore.
He was a little disappointed when I had to tell him I couldn't be at either shows, but it was impossible for me to be at every show - especially if Bill kept working things out so successfully. After all, I was also a businessman and had work to do. Plus, Justin neverjoined me when I had business trips. Okay, I had never asked him to. Maybe I should do that.
“I’ll call you after the show,” he told me when we were talking on the phone.
“It will be a success,” I answered.
After the month he spent at home, including a bout of the fucking flu, the successes kept rolling in. Philadelphia, Providence, Boston, Portland, Richmond, Baltimore, and at the end of the year he ended up in Washington, D.C. It was like he had shows simply everywhere on the eastside of America, except for New York.
“Bill said that New York is really arrogant,” Justin told me. “Some of them want money for showing my paintings and others are only willing to show one painting… Well, he said if I wanted to, we could pay them, but I don’t think I want that. The reviews are good and Bill is sure that sooner or later New York will have to accept me as a newborn star. So I'll keep taking every show and every review, and in the end, New York will be begging for me.”
“Now you’re talking,” I said.
So far everything had worked out perfectly. Kinnetik was very successful, and Justin celebrated his painting successes every weekend we spent at the house. Finally his muse had been back and from what I could see he was better than ever. He had even sold some of his stuff during the shows and got some money out of it.
“I couldn’t live from my set sales alone, but… it’s so cool to make some money with painting!”
And having happy sex was so much better than having sad sex.
During Thanksgiving – which he spent at home of course – we had a lot to be thankful for. Of course we didn’t talk about it, I mean … after all we’re still aren't dickless, but the last year has definitely been one of the best we’ve ever had. Except for the fucking idiots who tried to kill us and to burn down our house, we haven’t had any drama.
“We are both successful,” Justin said.
“And beautiful and hot,” I finished his sentence.
We were, everything was, perfect. That was when I realized the changes for the first time, when I realized something was wrong, but I didn’t say anything. There was no reason, we were happy, so why bother?
Justin's POV
Between Christmas and New Years Eve, Michael and I had a very small convention for Rage in Pittsburgh. I have absolutely no idea how Bill had managed to get the GLC involved, but we were allowed to use their hall for it.
And just as Bill had planned, the convention managed to show off some of my other work and fuck… he was right, people were interested in it. They asked us for autographs! I mean, really...
I tried to involve Brian in it – as the original Rage. He rejected the idea, of course. Okay, he was a serious businessman, and I could understand that. I just enjoyed signing my own autographs. There weren’t any critics, only the local TV station, but that was okay. It was just cool.
That little convention was an amazing success for Michael and I. For the first time ever I realized how much Rage really meant to him. It was his dream coming true! Just like I had always wanted to be an artist, he had always lived for his comics.
Knowing this, seeing it during that little event, helped me a lot. Every time I was not keen on drawing the Rage-stuff I remembered that moment. Sure, I didn’t owe him, but… for some reason I was proud to be someone who was able to help someone else live out his dream. So I kept drawing Rage and his evil enemies, and people loved it.
Life went on, and as you know… it was like those stupid feelings you sometimes have, that when everything simply was perfect, that something bad could happen at any moment. It’s bullshit; we’re not living in a soap opera, but it was how I felt.
It was my 24th birthday when I realized ‘it’ again. Something was wrong, something had changed, and something was not the way it should be, even though nothing bad had happened. Everyone was fine, happy, and healthy – more or less.
I didn’t celebrate my birthday because I was simply too busy. Of course the girls in the office were hugging me all the time – they just loved me. Josh had made me a special roommate-breakfast in the morning, and he even invited me to go out that night, but that was it.
I did get some calls during the day, and when Emmett called me to congratulate me I told him to say hi to Drew for me and Emmett replied, “Oh baby, it’s better to not talk to him these days. He’s totally pissed because of this shitty accident that had happened in the shower. I’m sure he would congratulate you, too, if he was able to think… well… straight. But it’s just… it’s hard for him.”
Huh? I shook my head. “What accident? What happened?”
I hadn’t heard about it. I was shocked when Emmett filled me in on the details! It had been a stupid accident in the shower after training. Drew had slipped and had broken his pelvis, hip, and his left arm. He also had a severe concussion and the doctors had told him that he probably wouldn’t be able to play professional football anymore.
“It’s horrible,” Emmett said. I think he almost cried. “He’s just… it’s…”
“I’m so sorry.” I really was. I mean, Drew and I weren’t that close, but… fuck, that wasn’t good news.
“No it’s okay, really,” he sniffled. “This is your special day, enjoy it and don’t think about us. We’ll find a way. I mean, we have to.”
I didn’t see Emmett much, except for the weekends when we went to Babylon, but even though Em and I are friends and there’s no doubt that if we needed someone, we would be there for each other. We barely spoke or called that much to catch up anymore since I had moved to New York.
I had no doubt, that Brian had known about the accident, and there was also no doubt that he didn’t tell me about it. And that was it… I wasn’t involved in the happenings of my extended family anymore. I didn’t expect an urgent call as soon as Drew got hurt, but at least a mention of it when we did see each other. It was a big thing; it was something important.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Drew?” I asked Brian on the weekend.
He just looked at me and shrugged. “Guess I forgot. I mean, it was an accident, he survived, and he will be okay.”
“Emmett told me that Drew won’t be able to play football again.”
“He’ll get over it. A few years more or less, what’s the difference?”
The difference was, that I had no idea that it had happened and felt left out! “Emmett said it’s hard for him.”
“Well, having a broken hip and pelvis would be hard for anyone.”
“Will this all have an effect the Brown Athletics’ deal?”
“No. Not yet. As long as the press is all about the pity for him, it helps the deal. Later, when he won’t be as popular anymore, it could become a problem, yes. It’s nothing we can’t handle,” he answered, rolled on top of me and kissed me. “And now we concentrate on something more important again, ok?”
It was a weird feeling. I definitely wasn’t a part of their lives anymore – not a part of their daily routine and that included Brian as well. Otherwise he would’ve told me about it. It made me sad and homesick.
When I saw Emmett again a week later, he practically fell into my arms. He tried to be strong, not to cry, but it seemed that Drew was really hard to take since he knew his career was over. All too soon I was gone again, back to New York.
I couldn’t change it, I couldn’t do anything, and so I settled for ‘it’ - again. Things changed, so what?
TBC
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2011-07-21 12:02 pm (UTC)I think this is the quiet before the storm.
You reach a goal, and then it’s like you have nothing to fight for anymore.
And so you settle down. And so you keep on going on because you’re too scared to speak.
I’m still worried for our boys….. I don’t know what you have in mind for them.
But I trust you ;)
Thanks sweetie the update ♥
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:20 pm (UTC)Yeah well, distance is distance, no matter how much you try...
no subject
on 2011-07-21 12:53 pm (UTC)It's like that old saying, be careful what you wish for. Justin was doing well, but he got homesick *sigh*
can't wait for more.
*hugs*
V.
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:21 pm (UTC)Thanks for your comment :)
no subject
on 2011-07-21 12:58 pm (UTC)Hmm, I'm curious how you'll manage to go from this point.....very interesting!
Hugs amd thanks for the fast new chap!!!! Pet
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:21 pm (UTC)Thanks P.
no subject
on 2011-07-21 01:09 pm (UTC)I stay tuned to see what you planned this time ... ;P
p.s. poor Drew!
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:22 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and for your feedback :)
no subject
on 2011-07-21 01:54 pm (UTC)Hugs Linda
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:23 pm (UTC)Seems the muse is back...
no subject
on 2011-07-21 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:24 pm (UTC)Happy to read that you liked my little series :)
Always a pleasure.
I'm a sucker for father/son dramas too *lol*
no subject
on 2011-07-21 02:53 pm (UTC)Sad chapter. Beautifully written. So loving this story
Gina
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:27 pm (UTC)Distance is distance, no matter how much you care about each other ... you're drifting apart.
Thank you for reading and for leaving a comment :)
no subject
on 2011-07-21 04:13 pm (UTC)Dee Dee
no subject
on 2011-07-21 06:26 pm (UTC)It's time for them to be happy, so true :)
They're not unhappy now.
no subject
on 2011-07-21 07:23 pm (UTC)I think that might be more devastating than one huge thing that can be dealt with and moved on from. I'm really worried about them! I can't wait to see where you are going to take this!
Hugs, Cindy
no subject
on 2011-07-21 07:51 pm (UTC)Thanks a lot for reading and for your lovely comment.
no subject
on 2011-07-21 07:44 pm (UTC)later!
xoxo
no subject
on 2011-07-21 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-07-21 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-07-22 05:44 am (UTC)Thanks a lot for reading and for your lovely comment :)
no subject
on 2011-07-21 11:14 pm (UTC)Poor Justin, now that his career is started he feels so bad because he is out of his friends life.
Christ!
no subject
on 2011-07-22 05:44 am (UTC)As I said before and say it now: Trust me :)
no subject
on 2011-07-22 01:38 am (UTC)I want these boys happy and together. Happy and together. My motto. I am hoping that before it has completely slipped away that they will realize it and stop it before they turn around and the other is gone. Not sure that I can take them losing each other again.
no subject
on 2011-07-22 05:45 am (UTC)Thank you very much, I'm glad to read that you liked my little series so far :)
Hope you'll stay tuned.
no subject
on 2011-07-22 09:32 pm (UTC)Susan
no subject
on 2011-07-23 09:47 am (UTC)no subject
on 2011-07-24 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
on 2011-07-24 10:47 am (UTC)