1 wedding, 4 rings and 1 almost funeral, Part 5

[soulmatejunkee]

Title: 1 wedding, 4 rings and 1 almost funeral, Part 5/? (You & Me-Series)
Author: soulmatejunkee 
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: Post 5.13; POV's  
Word Count: 2.371
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
Beta: adoringaudience - thanks so much!

First I wanted to wait a few days before I post the next chapter... but lets be honest, I can't do that. I can't keep a finished and beta'd part a secret! *LOL*

Things are going to change with that story, moving forward - finally! I hope you still enjoy it. As always: Every comment is welcome. I Love to read what you think. Thanks!

1. Listen to me
2. Trust me
3. Babylon Part 1 | Part 2
4. Find a way Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
5. ...remember what's missing?
6. The Party
7. Thanksgiving 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
8. 1 wedding, 4 rings and 1 almost funeral 1 | 2 | 3 | 4




Justin's POV

I was sitting on the chair in the waiting room, staring at my hands. It was hard to think straight, it was practically impossible. I couldn’t even say what shocked me more. That my father attempted suicide by cutting the artery on his wrists or that he decided to do it eight hours before my sister was supposed to visit him.

He wasn’t dead, the cut wasn’t deep enough. He just lost some blood and was unconscious. Molly, whereas, had a shock and has been in treatment for hours. The doctor said we don’t have to worry, but of course we did. My mom didn’t leave her alone, I wasn’t sure if Molly even realized that she was there. She didn’t speak, she just laid there and stared at the ceiling.

I waited in her room, together with my mother, for three hours, before I had to get out of there. Then I went to my father’s room, he was still sleeping. My feelings for him were mixed. I didn’t want him to die, but I also didn’t want to feel sorry for him. After he had his stroke the doctors told him that he had to do therapy and that he had a good chance at a full recovery. My mom had told me that he didn’t do the therapy as intensely as he was supposed to, which was the reason that he was still using the wheelchair. She also told me that Molly was visiting him very often, more than normally. She never had any problems with that, after all he was still her father.

After staring at him for a few minutes I went to the waiting room and there I was... waiting for something. When my mother came into the room it was already 1 AM. She gave me one of her warm smiles and nodded.

“It’s late, you should go home. There’s nothing you can do here.”

I got up. “What about you?”

“I’ll stay here, I won’t leave her alone until she starts to speak.”

I nodded. “You call me?”

“Of course. But... before you go, there’s something I have to talk to you about. It’s about Christmas.”

“What about it?” I asked. We were all invited to Debbie’s, just as we were on Thanksgiving.

She closed her eyes briefly. “Well, we have to change our plans. The doctor told me that they will discharge your father tomorrow and... I’m sure Molly wants to be with him and I won’t leave her alone with him anymore. At least not until he agrees to accept some help.”

“You want to spend Christmas with him?” I wasn’t sure if it would be very tasteless to laugh about that. I knew this was about Molly and so I didn’t laugh.

“I want us to spend Christmas with him”, she said and then I had to laugh, because that must’ve been a joke, a really bad one.

“You’re kidding me! I won’t spend Christmas with him, I won’t spend anything with him! I’m going to spend Christmas with Brian.” At least I thought so. I had no idea what was going on between him and me, I hadn’t time to figure it out so far but I would and then we would celebrate Christmas together, just like Thanksgiving. “You can’t be serious, Mom.”

“I am”, she nodded and gave me her I’m-very-serious-Justin-look, that normally didn’t allow any objections. “What else am I supposed to do?”

I frowned. “Honestly?”

She sighed. “He’s your father and he’s Molly’s father. I can understand that you don’t care much about him, but she does.”

“She shouldn’t after what he did. And you shouldn’t either! Aren’t you angry?”

“I’m pissed off!” she yelled back and took a deep breath. “And you can be sure that I will tell him and I will give him an ultimatum, but not now, not until your sister is getting better.”

“He is not your responsibility”, I answered. “And he’s for sure not my responsibility. What about Tucker? And Debbie?”

She shrugged. “What about them? I’m going to talk to Debbie, I’m sure she’ll understand that I have to do what’s best for Molly and if she wants to spend Christmas with her dad to make sure that he’s okay again, then we will do it. And Tucker will understand that, too.”

“Well, I don’t.” I shook my head. “This is almost blackmail, Mom. If you don’t take care of me, I’ll do it again. He’s selfish! It’s selfish to do something like that! Now you’re worried, but do you think that he worried about you when he did it? Or about Molly?”

“It doesn’t matter!” She took my hand. “Honey, please, trust me. I won’t let him take control. We’re divorced and no, I didn’t forget why. And this Christmas won’t change anything. I’m not doing this for him and I don’t ask you to do it for him, I ask you to do it for Molly.”

“Why do I even have to be there?” I asked her. “He doesn’t care about me, I’m sure he doesn’t give a shit if I’ll be there or not. And I don’t want to be there.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. “Okay. If you don’t want to come, fine. I can’t force you. But I can’t do nothing, Justin.”

“I could ask Brian to join us, that would be funny.”

She gave me a tired smile. “Where is he?”

“Who?”

“Brian.”

“I don’t know, home I guess.” I hoped so.

“I can’t believe he didn’t come with you.”

“He doesn’t know.” I shook my head when she frowned and got this worried mother-look. “Long story, bad timing, doesn’t matter now.”

She was still holding my hands. “Listen, Justin, I know what happened. And I don’t expect you to forget about that or to act as if it never happened. All I’m asking for is a little help. I can’t walk away. We were married for almost 20 years. Without him there wouldn’t be you or your sister.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. Of course I would help her and I would help Molly. “What do you have in mind?”

“The doctor gave me an address. It’s a very good clinic for rehabilitation and physical treatment. I will talk to him about him, I’ll tell him that he has to go there; otherwise I won’t let him see Molly again. I’ll also have to talk to her, because she won’t understand that. And I have to talk to Tucker, because I want to... I’ll take him in...”

“No!”

“...until he leaves for rehab.”

“Mom!”

“At the most until New Year. If he doesn’t agree to go, I’ll bring him back home. It’ll be cleaned up again till then.”

She had a plan and I knew I couldn’t put her off. So I just nodded. I would be in town until New Year, so I could interfere if it was necessary. “Just be careful. He’s not a victim, Mom. He needs help.”

“I know and I’ll take care of that. You can be sure. I won’t let him play any kind of psycho games with Molly.” She shook her head. “What the fuck was he thinking?”

I shrugged. “I think he wanted you to have a bad conscience, to feel guilty.”

“Could you bring over some of his stuff to my house tomorrow?” She gave me a key. “Please. Some clothes and his medicine.”

How the fuck could this happen? I was angry, I was pissed off!

“He’s lonely Justin”, she said. “Loneliness can kill people.”


Emmett's POV

Visiting Babylon is almost always fun, visiting it for finding someone to dance with and to take home with you is always fun, even though it doesn’t always work out. Checking out the hot guys is just funny. Even if you do it with a happy couple beside you.

“How about him?” Blake asked and pointed to a young blond twink on the dance floor.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not so much into see-through shirts. If he wants to show his nipples, he should do it shirtless or... more tasteful.”

“Hey Brian”, Ted said when Brian showed up right beside me, but he didn’t get any answer or any kind of reaction.

That wasn’t abnormal, we usually wouldn’t get a response from Brian, especially not when something was going on. So not getting an answer was an answer.

But something was different this time. He showed up, didn’t even look at us or anyone else and just started to drink. We watched him for a while until we started to worry, because he was drinking a lot and very fast. When the barkeeper looked at Ted, wondering if he really should keep refilling Brian’s drink, Ted shook his head, which pissed Brian off extremely.

He still didn’t look at us, he yelled at the poor boy behind the bar. „This is my fucking club and my fucking life and if I want to drink, I’ll do it! If you’re not able to do your job, look out for a new one!“

He’d drunk way too fast to be drunk already, but sooner or later he would be and it could end badly, especially if he didn’t stop.

„Brian, what happened?“ Ted tried to talk to him, no answer. „Where’s Justin? Wasn’t he supposed to come home today?”

No word, but one look and we had the answer. Something had happened, something bad. Ted looked at me, I shrugged and then I decided to take care of him – I had no idea why. He was practically ruining my plans for tonight.

Maybe they had a fight, probably a really bad fight, who knew? But I was sure it wasn’t as bad as Brian thought it was, nine out of ten times it wasn’t. I’m sure it would be all straightened up – but only if he didn’t kill himself with Beam.

I moved closer to him and reached out my hand. „Give me your keys!“

Finally he looked at me and frowned while downing another drink. „What for?“

„So that I can be sure you won’t drive.“

He shook his head. „I’m fine.“

„Keys.“

He laughed at me and emptied the next glass. „There’s no way that you’re going to drive my car.“

I wasn’t in the mood for the Kinney games, so I just shrugged. „If you don’t give me the keys, I’ll have your car towed.“

He laughed again, but I didn’t, so I guess he realized I really meant it. He emptied another glass and now even the barkeeper looked really worried. The bottle was more then half emptied – in less then five minutes. Brian gave me his keys and sighed, while ordering the next shot.

„It’s enough already“, I said and grabbed his arm. He pulled away, of course, but his balance got wobbly. He staggered and leaned against the bar.

„We should take him home“, Blake said. „And keep an eye on him.“

It was just 1.30 AM, the night was young and tomorrow was Christmas Eve and I had planned to find someone who was willing to sweeten my night. I looked at Brian, who seemed to drift away. I put his arm over my shoulder and pushed him away from the bar. „Fuck Brian, you’ll pay for that.“


Justin's POV

It was 2.30 AM when I came back to the loft. I almost bumped into Emmett, who was sitting at the table.

„Finally“, he sighed dramatically and stood up.

„What are you doing here?“

He motioned towards the bedroom. „He’s drunk, totally drunk, he emptied almost an entire bottle of Beam in less than ten minutes. So far he hasn’t puked, but I wouldn’t guarantee that it won’t happen soon. He’s babbling confusing stuff, most of time it’s something like ‚New York sucks’ or ‚He won’t come back’ or ‚He’s gone’. So whatever is going on…“

I closed my eyes briefly and sighed. „I’ll take care of him.“

He looked really concerned when he gave me a broken cell phone, obviously Brian’s, it was smashed. „I found this in the corner and the chair was on the floor. I have no idea what’s going on between the two of you and it’s none of my business, but I think you should know that this is not the first time he’s done that. I admit it wasn’t that bad for a really long time, but him getting drunk just to forget isn’t a new occurence.“

I swallowed. Fuck! I thought about what my mom said about loneliness, about the last hours I had spent at the hospital, about the house, about Daphne and all she had told me.

I nodded. „I’ll take care of him. Thanks for…“

„It’s okay.“ He kissed my forehead. „Goodnight Baby and wish me luck. It’s still early enough for me to find a beautiful swan with a big cock to make me a happy Emmy.“

It was fascinating how fast Emmett’s mood could change from concerned to happy. I smiled at him, closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a while before I went to the bedroom. Brian was fully dressed, he lay in the middle of the bed and he was snoring low. I took off my shoes and my jeans and lay down beside him. I could smell the Beam. He jerked and opened his eyes.

I stroked his cheek and he grabbed my hand and held it tight, it sounded as if he was sobbing, not sure if he really was. Maybe he was still half asleep and snored. He was definitely drunk.

„I can’t do this anymore“, he whispered slurring, looked me straight in the eyes and I could see the panic again. „I tried.“

I moved closer to him, put my arm above his head and fondled his hair while pressing my lips against his cheek. „I know.“

He put his hand around my waist and pulled me closer, buried his face in my neck, and fell asleep immediately.

I couldn’t sleep, even though I was very tired. I knew I wouldn’t sleep, there was too much going on. And I hadn’t found an ultimate solution yet.


TBC

Comments

[pam81.livejournal.com]

This time I'm not late! Yeah =)

Loved this update hon.
Oh Craig... he's an asshole, and he always finds a way to hurt people, especially his family. I see why Jennifer wants to help him, but I know how difficult it is for Justin. He can't forget the past, all the pain...

Here we go with Brian Kinney and his pain management.
Thank God he has amazing friends. Loves to see Emmet that took care of him.

And the end... OMG so painful, but beautiful. I like when Brian is so vulnerable, even if it hurts...

Thanks for another wonderful update. I'm glad you decided to share it so soon with us.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

This time you're the first *gg*

I thought about fixing the Craig-thing. But it's harder than I thought *lol*

Thanks for reading. And thanks for your comment.

[ls1966.livejournal.com]

Wow, you make me cry!
Great update honey

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)
Not that I wanted to make anyone cry...

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

Yeah I loved it to.

Gotta love Emmett, he really understands Brian, he's a good kind friend.

Stuff Jennifer & her demands on Justin,,like WTF!!! his father couldn't care less if he lived or died, & hopefully Justin will spend Xmas with the people he LOVES, hello like Brian!!!

What a snake Craig is, I bet he planned it all, but he can rot for all I care, & Justin feels the same way. Fuck if Justin leaves Brian alone at Xmas time, he'll go insane. He's already lonely & missing his boy, God I'd hate to think what would happen to Brian if he was all alone at Xmas, as he sure as hell won't spend it with Criag Taylor.

Loved the ending, lets hope Justin really listens to him, made me very sad,,later jx

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Lets see about Craig, IMO he was always a very weak person, not someone who thought about his actions or planned anything, he acted way too stupid for that *LOL*

And Justin is not like Craig and we don't want him to be, right? He cares about people...

Thanks for your comment :)

[ergenie.livejournal.com]

Wow!!!! simple but yet powerful chapter!!!!.... cheers!!!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot :)

[rainbow1907.livejournal.com]

Awww, what a wonderful new chapter, many thanks! Craig is a coward and weakling and - frankly - undeserving of Jennifer's care. But what Jennifer said, that loneliness kills people, that's true. Maybe the wake up call that Justin needed, combined with Brian's pain management excess? I sure hope so because it can't go on like that. Lots of hurt, so maybe some comfort next ;)? Hugs you, Rena :)

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks Rena :)

[bidyke73.livejournal.com]

Craig really is an asshole. However, I can understand Jennifer's concerns and feelings, but she won't do herself a favour by taking him in or anything. Let's just hope she won't lose Tucker on the way.

Brian is totally lost - he can't cope with all those feelings that are new for him. I guess it's a good things that his old methods for pain management didn't work.

More, please?

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Yes, more will come soon... :)
Thanks for reading, glad you liked it.

[britinlvr.livejournal.com]

I am SO loving this story. I'm loving the frequent updates and I pray that your muse hangs in there with you. Brian is so messed up, but so adorably sweet when he's vulnerable. Justin will take good care of him now, but those two really need to talk -- like professional therapy level talking. Thanks for the Emmett cameo too, I just love that guy!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid my muse will disappear sooner or later *lol*
But I always try to update frequently and to end every story I started.

Thanks for reading, I'm happy you liked it.

[kateandromeda.livejournal.com]

I have nearly tears in my eyes. I hope that they find a solution. Thanks. I am look forward to more.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot :)

[pet0511.livejournal.com]

God, what heartbreaking scenes with Brian getting drunk at Babylon, a very brave Emmett forcing Brian to give him the keys to his car, the one and only...(no, there is only one and only one and this is the best Emmett you can get as a friend!!!) and then Brian admitting to have reached his limits even when he is half asleep when he said this- it's still the truth. The limit is reached for both Brian and Justin I think, and it's not a question anymorenif they want to work it out - thay got to a point they just have to, one way or another. If there comes much more pain that will be the only thing what is left because the pain is slowly but steady killing all the feelings, even the good ones.
Thanks, dear soulmate, for this fast update and please: don't keep chaps at bay .... we do love this story, really love it, and you are making us really happy with every line you are posting! Pet

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Like I said, I can't keep the chapters, because I'm a sucker for all the lovely comments *LOOL*

[aaa-mazing.livejournal.com]

It's so Brian-ish to go and get drunk. Not the best pain management. But thank God Justin is back, at least for now.
Thanks for sharing, dear!

[aaa-mazing.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned that Craig is an asshole? Well, he is!

[sjmarv.livejournal.com]

Adding my kudos to the other comments on a great chapter. Figured the call from Jennifer had to be something like this, but to learn Molly found her dad with wrists cut was a stunner. I read that other commenters are irked at Jennifer for making unfair demands on Justin to be present at Christmas with his dad, but as a mom I really understand how she must be trying to hold things together for a young daughter who is going to need therapy BIG time for the trauma her dad put her through(how old is Molly at thia point?) Craig must have known it would be Molly who would find him. What a selfish pig, loneliness aside, that's downright cruel to do to your child.

That's for another great chapter.

Susan

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I think Molly is 9 years younger than Justin, since there were 8 candles on her cake in episode 1.10. So since he was 17... she must be 13 in my story.

Thanks for reading and for your comment :)

[rulisteningbj.livejournal.com]

Craig is for shit. I want Justin to take Brian with him to Christmas at his mom's. Justin is beginning to understand how lonely Brian is. Time to come home and stay.

Dee Dee

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Time to make compromises *gg*

It would be funny if Brian would join that Christmas dinner hm? *lol*

Thanks Dee Dee

[petulant2u.livejournal.com]

OMG this chapter broke my heart! But I feel sorry for Justin. Brian needs to grow up emotionally and be supportive of Justin!
Great update! Can't wait to see what the morning brings!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[nivahl.livejournal.com]

This Jennifer reminds me of season one/two Jennifer.
That I hated.
I really hope Justin will do what he wants and what he feels ... and is totally wrong for her to ask Justin something like that, and to bring his EX husband home ... what is she thinking???

On the contrary I loved the last scene ... with drunk Brian ... so tender and lost ... poor baby!

Great job as usual!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I guess she thinks that she also has a teenage daughter who might (still) love her father ;)

Thanks for reading :)

[mander3-swish.livejournal.com]

So glad Em is there to try to save Brian from himself. Even though B got stoopid drunk, at least he didn't have any inclination to go to the back room...or at least Em stepped in before he got around to it.

and...
Effing Craig. and what is Jen doing!?

Great update!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot :)

[highd.livejournal.com]

I am a huge Brian fan so please take this with a grain of salt. I hate that he is being tortured here. I could understand Justin staying in NYC if he was a mad success, but everything that he has done there could have been done in Pittsburgh. I also get that Justin is suffering too, but it's different when you are 20 and out in the world for the first time. Even when you are failing you are gaining world experience, but when you are almost 35 life is different, even the most cynical people, ( Brian ) want to get off the roller coaster and settle down a bit. Being 35 myself I can attest to this. Especially when you have found that person you love and you want to be with them.

Knowing that Brian was left behind, building that nest for him and Justin just waiting for the waiting to be over is one of the reasons I hated Justin leaving in canon in the first place. So this story is great, but it's filled with such torment and sadness.

Part of me wonders if Craig tried to off himself because Justin words sunk into that skull of his and his shame got the better of him. That happens a lot when you realize you gave something up, and regret it. So maybe if Craig did buy that painting seeing Justin's talent knocked some sense into him.

Jennifer is an odd duck. I know she loves her son, and most of the time she is really great with him, but using Molly's needs as leverage to get something from Justin is just wrong. I like Jennifer but seriously question her sometimes when it comes to Justin and what she expects him to swallow, even for his sister.

This is a really great story, but please give Brian a bit of peace of mind soon, it's like watching someone die.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I'll take care of Brian... I promise :)
And I'll take care of Justin, too and Molly and Jennifer and all the rest :)

No ones gonna die...

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

thanks for that beautiful chapter,hon!
I do hope Justin would find a solution *sighs*
hugs
V.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks V.

[shenova.livejournal.com]

Oh dear Craig nice thing you have done and poor Molly is freaked out by it how selfish is he VERY. Brian is feeling upset and doesn't know what to do he wants Justin to be at home with him but he wants him to have success and not give that up just because he can't deal. What are they going to do to sort this out I wonder????

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Justin might not have found a solution so far, but I did :)

Thanks for reading and for your comment.

[galehot.livejournal.com]

I trust on you, really I have to do, even I'm so terrify about what do you have on your mind. All seems it's going wrong, Justin's world is falling apart, Brian is so tired and Justin is too.

But, I will trust on you, whatever direction the story takes I'd love to follow.

Trust kisses ;)

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your trust :)

[sjmpets.livejournal.com]

the straw that broke the camel's back? brian so badly wants him home but won't say it.

craig i feel nothing for. jennifer is wrong for wanting the family together even for molly's sake. don't wait to demand he go to rehab, have the doctor's send him now.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I don't think that many people out there do like Craig after all he had done. We'll see how Christmas will go...

[methylethyl.livejournal.com]

I knew there was a good reason for Justin not going back to the loft. It's interesting, Craig attempting suicide. I hope we'll get some more insight into that--although Justin has every right to not to want to hear anything more about it.

I hope you update soon. You seem to do it so quickly! Do you really write this fast, or do you have it written ahead of time?

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Parts are already written, not everything.
The Craig Story is new, but some of the B/J parts for this Series-Part were already written :)

[tv-fan-2008.livejournal.com]

Amazing chapter!! You really made me feel Brian's pain and now that he has admitted to Justin that he can't cope with the long distance thing rather then just putting on a brave face for Justin, they can hopefully find a way to be together and both be happy :)

Love this story!!!

I friended you btw, hope that is okay :)

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Are you sure you friended me?
I didn't get a message...

Anyway, thanks for reading and for your comment :)

[altair65.livejournal.com]

maybe Craig feel guilty for having rejecting his son? I'm not justifying his suicide trial... just I hope that's the reason why. So... I cannot figure out how the Taylors plus Brian could pass the Christmas Eve together but... at least it's so relieving what Brian said finally! "I can't do this anymore... I tried" relating to their living apart. So I'm so confident in you Soul: you can absolutely manage it. But the choice to make go on the tail is yours, I'm sure I'd like it!
And you scared me with that "loneliness" explanation for Craig suicide and the comparison with Brian feeling lonely! No way! not Brian... but at least... he is human too. Thanks for your great work!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I hope I won't disappoint you :)

[paoloqaf.livejournal.com]

Honey, I'm impressed! Craig is a very shit, I always hated him and I think Jennifer'request is fucking incredible! She can't oblige Justin to follow her in this insane task... anyway, Brian is so sweet and feel so lonely without Jus... hope they will find soon a solution to everything! in my opinion Jus must come back and paint in Britin... NY is full of starving artist instead he is SOMEONE in Pitts... love so much this story, it is amazing... thanks for sharing!

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading and for your lovely comment :)

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

A new reader :)
Thanks a lot, I'm happy you like my little series.