soulmatejunkee | Find a way, Part 1

I decided to make this a series. Thanks to all of you wonderful people who wrote those wonderful comments for the last stories! Thanks for your lovely support! :)

I call the Series You & Me, since I am so not good with titles and I had to come up with something! *lol* This is my first series, at least for QAF!

Title: Find a way 1/4 (You & Me-Series)
Author:

soulmatejunkee
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: Post 5.13; POV's
Word Count: 1.287
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by

qafkinnetic - thank you sooo much for your fast and wonderful support! As always: Every comment is welcome. I Love to read what you think. Thanks!

1. Listen to me
2. Trust me
3. Babylon Part 1 | Part 2

Brian's POV

It wasn’t really a good weekend when Justin was here, it was weird. I think we both expected us to feel comfortable with each other, as if nothing had changed and we both had to deal with the fact that things had changed. We hadn’t seen each other for three months, so yes, we fucked a lot that weekend and that was great, but neither of us had any plan or idea how to change things.

And every 'I miss you’ and 'I love you’ sounded so pathetic. Missing and loving wasn’t the problem. It’s what he said, we know that we love each other. But that doesn’t make it easier.

We hadn’t talked about our relationship. There might had been things to talk over, but on the other hand there wasn’t any way to change anything, so we had to deal with it the way it was. And so we fucked, slept and fucked again. Saturday night we went to Babylon and danced and fucked again. And when he left Sunday afternoon, he just did. He took his stuff, kissed me goodbye and left.

And he called when he arrived in New York.

Of course he told me to never cut him out again, to trust him and to be honest about everything. But sometimes I don’t see the any necessity to tell him everything. He’s in New York, it’s like he’s not a part of any decision I make, he’s not here to talk me out of it, he’s not here to convince me. And it was the same for him. Our lives drifted apart, we drifted apart.

And so far there was nothing we could do to prevent it.

Justin’s POV

We were drifting apart, I could feel it. I think in some way it was a normal development, nothing we couldn’t have dealt with, nothing we couldn’t work out. I’m sure I could find a way to convince him to follow me, but with me living in New York and him living in Pittsburgh, I couldn’t do anything. Brian never was an optimist, he always expects the worst thing to happen and so I decided to just prevent the worst thing to happen, which was easy, since I had absolutely no plan to break up or to never come back or to fall out of love or what the fuck ever he expects to happen.

The thing is, us drifting apart happened subtly. Everything was as always, we talked, we emailed, we had phone sex, we said our lines and then we moved on.

Noelle called me paranoid, again. She called us complicated. Yeah, well, that’s who we are.

Unfortunately it was me who brought up the first fight.

I had to do something, I'd lived in New York for more than three months and had nothing to show. I worked in a gallery and in a coffee-shop and that was it. So I decided to push forward. When we closed the gallery one evening, I talked to Nadya. We had a show coming up in two weeks and I knew there were some free places, so I asked for one.

She laughed at me. It was humiliating, I felt like a stupid little boy. But of course I tried to not show her how much it hurt me, that for her to even think about showing one of my paintings was laughable. In the end she said, I could have one of the corner-places, if I pay for it. The upcoming show was a paid show. The artist had chosen Nadya's Gallery for his show, so he paid her for the preparation.

I asked her if I could probably show one of my painting with the next official gallery-show, which she gave and for which no artist pays. That idea was even more laughable for her. She left me with a "You’re too cute.“

I was...sad and disappointed. I knew she was arrogant and I expected her to say no, but I didn’t expect her to laugh at me. It was just humiliating. If this would’ve happened in Pittsburgh I would’ve never worked for that person, but New York wasn’t Pittsburgh.

I was really close to bursting into tears on my way home. Apparently that was obvious, because Noelle just looked at me at gave me one of her "Pooh-Bear“ and then she hugged me.

I didn’t tell Brian about Nadya, simply because when I told him about her and how arrogant she was, the first thing he said was, that she would never help me to show one of my paintings and that I should look out for other opportunities. He was right. But he doesn’t have to know that.

I called tons of agencies, sent them my art and waited, just to get the same stupid answer for more than twelve times: "Dear Mr. Taylor/Justin, we would love to represent you and your arts […] but we kindly ask for your understanding […] to anticipate…“

So I took my portfolio and decided to just go to the galleries I knew. I hoped that they wouldn’t be as bad as Nadya was.

It was depressing. The first two told me – without even looking at my art – that they weren’t interested in new artist. And the third one was a weird mix between Emmett and Nadya. Queer as Emmett and arrogant as Nadya.

"Hi“, I great him when I entered his Gallery. It was a small gallery and it seemed similar to Nadya's, there weren’t only paintings, he also offered other arts. And he had a show coming up, called "new and upcoming artists“.

"Hi.“ He gave me a short look.

"My name is Justin Taylor, I’m an artist and I read about the show for new and upcoming artist next months and I wanted to ... sign in.“

He laughed, without looking at me. Arrogant or not, not looking at someone while talking to him is just disrespectful. "Sign in? This is not an open performance.“

"Okay, then I want to announce or offer some of my arts for the show. Because I am a new an upcoming artist.“

"Really?“ Now he was looking at me.

I nodded and smiled friendly. "Yeah.“

"Who are you?“

"Justin. Taylor.“

"Who’s your agent?“

"I don’t have one. I’m doing it on my own.“

That obviously wasn’t the right answer. He raised an eyebrow and eyeballed me as if I were an alien. I kept smiling friendly. "Where have you had shows so far? Normally I know all the new and upcoming artists.“

"Well, I haven’t had a show in New York so far, but I had a couple of shows in Pittsburgh.“ Why not ham it up a little bit?

"What Gallery?“

"Some were charity shows at the Gay and Lesbian center. And I had some paintings shown in Sidney Bloom’s Gallery in February this year.“

He nodded. "Did they sell?“

I cleared my throat. This wouldn’t work out for me. "No, but I had a really good review on the Arts Forum Magazine about it.“

"Wonderful!“ He smiled brightly, just as Emmett normally does and then he rolled his eyes. "Bye.“

Fuck! "Please, just one painting, I‘m good. Look at it.“ I offered him my portfolio, but he refused and shook his head.

"I’m sure you are good, just as thousands of others, too“, he said. "But that doesn’t matter. No one will show up to watch your paintings or even buy them, when they don’t know you. And I can’t fill my gallery with shelf warmers okay?“

I sighed and swallowed. "But how am I suppose to become popular, if no one gives me a chance?“

He shrugged. "Find a way.“

New York sucks!

TBC

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Posted by

ls1966.livejournal.com

Yeah, good that you decided to make it a serie ;-)
And of course they find a way to be together I'am sure of that ;-)).

Posted by

It's Meant To Be

Find a way, Part 1

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