Trust me

Oct. 22nd, 2010 09:00 am
soulmatejunkee: (bjlove)
[personal profile] soulmatejunkee
Title: Trust me (Oneshot)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] soulmatejunkee 
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: It's a sequel to Listen to me Brian's POV  
Word Count: 653
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by [livejournal.com profile] qafkinnetic - thank you sooo much! Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!




Brian's POV

He did, he called when he arrived. I was still on the bed, naked. It got a little cold, but I didn’t want to move, I just lay there. I knew he would call, he told me he would, and it was too soon to not keep promises or agreements.

He has a lot of trust in us, in me and in himself. I wish I could do that, too. I know he will try to make this work. He will call, he will email me, he will tell me that he misses me and that he loves me. He will show up from time to time, we will fuck and yes, we will be happy. And then he’s going to leave again.

After a while he will stop missing me, that’s the normal way. After a while he will live in New York, he will know the city, he will have new friends. He doesn’t need me, he never did, and that’s okay. It was okay, as long as he was around, so I could make sure that he’s okay, that he had anything he needed.

I did what he wanted me to do, when he called. And I will keep doing it. I promised and I never break a promise, at least not on purpose. He said "I love you“, and I said "You, too“. But I know he knows that, this is all about me believing him.

I got up, I showered and I went to work, I did it every day, he called every evening. He complained every evening. New York was too loud, too full and too dirty – I wondered if he ever walked through Pittsburgh’s streets with open eyes. Well, he’s going to learn to love the city, I know he will. Everybody loves New York.

After a week I started to clean up the loft. At least a little. There was the box with the rings. I left it on the table the entire time and every evening when he called I looked at it. I know I was suppose to return it, but I couldn't – I wouldn’t. I have no idea why I want to keep it. It’s not that I want to get married, well, at least I don't think so. I put the ring on once and somehow I thought it looked sexy. I never associated marriage with sexiness. Maybe I should have.

When I took the box to put it away, he called again and as I promised, I answered. He was totally euphoric, because he got an offer to work at a small but popular art gallery.

"Maybe I can bring up my stuff after a while“, he said. "Maybe I can become the star of the gallery, wouldn’t that be cool?“

He already started to dream big and all I could answer was "Sure, that would be absolutely cool.“

New York didn’t suck anymore that evening, it wasn’t too loud anymore, it wasn’t too full anymore. Everything was just cool.

"We're going out to celebrate“, he told me. "Well, not really. It’s Noelle’s birthday, but for me it’s a celebration, too.“

He was happy and I was... not so happy, but happy for him.

"I wish you were here.“

I nodded. I wished that, too. I looked at the rings. He ended the call because his roommate, Daphne’s friend, Noelle, wanted to leave. There was no I miss you and no I love you. I nodded to the phone and closed the box. Then I went to the drawer, to open the empty one, the one where his clothes were suppose to be, the one that seemed to be destined to be empty.

I opened it and saw his underwear and some socks and his favorite shirt and a pair of jeans. On top was a note that said: "Trust me.“


The End

on 2010-10-22 07:48 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bksbracelet.livejournal.com
Guh' that made my mouth dry with the sadness of Brian expecting Justin to move on, then you let Brian find the note 'ah sweet'.
Excellent fic thank you Chris

on 2010-10-22 07:53 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Yeah it was a little angsty, but I'm glad you still liked it :)
Thanks a lot.

on 2010-10-22 08:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] pam81.livejournal.com
Og God... this one made me cry....
So beautiful sweetie! Heartbreaking but so beautiful.

Trust me ♥ Perfect.

Thanks for this wonderful sequel.


on 2010-10-22 08:12 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot :)

on 2010-10-22 08:07 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] pet0511.livejournal.com
HI! I was happy to see your new story. So well written like the others! I had a mix of feelings while reading this: you just nailed the thoughts and fears of Brian Kinney and it was making me sad because they could be realistic - and then, with your two last words, you saved my mood with giving the hope back. You are really good with leading your readers through all kinds of emotions!
Thanks so much, Pet

on 2010-10-22 08:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot - that's a nice compliment.
At first I thought it might be too angsty.

on 2010-10-22 08:27 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ls1966.livejournal.com
Wow, this one is great, I have tears in my eyes!

*HUGS*

on 2010-10-22 08:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
You have? Awww...
*hugs back*

on 2010-10-22 08:27 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] marny1.livejournal.com
wow I'm speechless ... beautiful

* hugs *

on 2010-10-22 08:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

on 2010-10-22 08:37 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] duffy-60.livejournal.com
Justin still has his finger on the pulse of the Kinney Operating Manual. He knows his man! :-)
Lovely ficlet, my dear.

on 2010-10-22 08:39 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot :)

on 2010-10-22 09:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] guavejuice.livejournal.com
amazing chapter,Steffi! thanks so much. you write angst so well *sighs*
even though there isn't a TBC at the end,there is still lots of hope for them <3

on 2010-10-22 09:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
There's always hope for them :)
Thanks sweety *hugs*

on 2010-10-22 10:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] britinkinlor.livejournal.com
That was great. Thanks *hug* x

on 2010-10-22 10:56 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Glad you liked it :)

on 2010-10-22 11:32 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com
I have trouble swallowing:)

Aghhh so sad, just like Brian to think that Justin would move on & forget him, as IF!!

The last sentence gives me hope, as if you'd leave your fav T-shirt behind:)

I guess trust & time (shit I hated that too,,its Only Time) is all they have left,,now write another one where he comes home & they have wild monkey sex, loved it,,but it did hurt a little,,hugs Jx

on 2010-10-22 12:34 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
So glad you liked it.
Well, yes, I hated "It's only time", too, but actually even more I still hate "Never again..."!!

on 2010-10-22 12:10 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rainbow1907.livejournal.com
Awwww, such a wonderful and well composed story! So much angst and heartbreak, Brian desperately wants to trust but it's so hard for him. But then the hopeful ending, lovely! Justin knows him so well ♥...
Many thanks for sharing this! Hugs you, Rena ♥

on 2010-10-22 12:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Danke schön :)

on 2010-10-22 12:21 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] aaa-mazing.livejournal.com
Oh, you break my heart. I do want to trust him. I believe in them. *sobbing quietly*
Adorable as always.
Thank you!

on 2010-10-22 12:38 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks, glad you like it.
Always a pleasure to read such sweet comments.

on 2010-10-22 12:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] manueladb.livejournal.com
Poor Brian is in full drama queen mode, already picturing Justin forgetting all about him. But little Justin has always been a very smart boy. I love he left that note.

on 2010-10-22 12:40 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks Manu :)

on 2010-10-22 12:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] josieb1.livejournal.com
Gorgeous POV, now we need the final one, Justin coming home for good. Until then I will just dream. Thank you

on 2010-10-22 05:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Who knows?
Maybe another idea pops into my mind *gg*
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked it.

on 2010-10-22 02:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mitakay.livejournal.com
oh- thank you for this angsty sequel.
LOVED IT!

on 2010-10-22 05:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot!

on 2010-10-22 03:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sjmpets.livejournal.com
that was so touching it made me cry. "He doesn’t need me, he never did, and that’s okay." it's not okay, but justin knows him well. "When I opened it, I saw his underwear and some socks and his favorite shirt and a pair of jeans. On top was a small note that just said: „Trust me.“ i hope brian listens with his heart to that.


on 2010-10-22 05:55 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
And hopefully he acts with his heart to that :)

on 2010-10-22 04:09 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ladynomad915.livejournal.com
ths wasreay good.
poor Bran I think he was feeling tat Justin was slippig away but fte looking in tat drawer ht he hougt wasmpty Ithink now he knows Justin isn't

on 2010-10-22 05:55 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Hopefully :)
Thanks for your comment.

on 2010-10-22 04:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bknjt.livejournal.com
Amazing..... just when Brian thought everything was slipping away.... you gave him something to hold onto... "Trust Me"... Perfect....

on 2010-10-22 05:56 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot :)

on 2010-10-22 07:34 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] galehot.livejournal.com
Jesus!! Thanks GodKinney there was a note, I was so sure Brian will get rid the rings!! *sigh*

I love the first part, "listen to me" and now I love this one.

Thanks

on 2010-10-22 09:02 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

on 2010-10-24 05:27 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] fefaxx.livejournal.com
If "Listen to me" was something beautiful, "Trust me" is simply stunning. Brian's insecurities are so strictly to his character and a very well written introspection. Tears in my eyes don't let write more but thank you for sharing this unforgettable fic.
Federica

on 2010-10-25 07:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot :)
There might be more, I am still not so sure... but I will keep it in Oneshots!

on 2010-10-25 07:10 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] spike7451.livejournal.com
Beautifully done, loved the ending.

on 2010-10-25 07:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
Thanks a lot :)

on 2010-10-25 04:14 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] gemstonesa.livejournal.com
I love that the drawer is not empty.

The first time when Brian opened the drawer caught me by surprise, this time as well. Well done. A drawer full of love

on 2010-10-25 07:23 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
A drawer full of love
That's a very nice line, I might steal it *lol*
Thanks for your lovely comment :)

on 2010-10-26 05:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] gemstonesa.livejournal.com
Write us something using the title "a drawer full of love". I dare you

on 2010-11-02 02:23 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] 6frog.livejournal.com
If you make us cry this much I insist that you carry on until we're filled with joy... you know you can do it and so do we, you are a wonderful writer.

Love from 6frog ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

on 2010-11-02 03:28 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com
I do not really want to make anyone cry, but on the other hand it's nice to know that I can. Thanks a lot :)

on 2010-11-23 06:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kinnetikdreams.livejournal.com
Just when I thought this was going to be oh so sad, you come up with that line of "trust me" ..... beautiful.

on 2010-12-19 12:52 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] paoloqaf.livejournal.com
... awww... so sweet Brian when he is afraid of losing Justin... so nice Justin left a note for him... wonderful job dear..thank for sharing... :)

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