In Between, Part 17

[soulmatejunkee]

Title: In Between, Part 17/20
Author: soulmatejunkee 
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: What happened between episode 4.09 and 4.10 (POV’s). It starts right after "Eat some fucking chicken soup". 
Word Count: 500 words (drabbles)
Summary: I am writing on it since weeks, so I just thought, maybe I should start posting it
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by qafkinnetic   (Thanks a lot!)
Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

I just want to thank everyone for the lovely comments on this story!!
I love reading every single one.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10
11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16



Justin's POV

1)
I knew how important sex was for Brian. It was his way to keep control over everything, especially himself. And with being sick and totally losing control over his body – especially after the radiation – it was even more important, and the fact that he couldn’t just fuck the way he used to made him even more insecure than he already was.

But for me this started to take an absolutely unexpected turn. I got blowjobs… a lot. Not that I never got them before, but it’s not the routine, especially not without him getting blown. I started to enjoy this.


2)
And then I felt a little guilty for enjoying it. But I don’t think he wanted me to feel guilty. He knew the second he was ready to fuck again, I would be ready, too.

I practically lived in the loft. And after three weeks and 6 radiations I finally found out why he wouldn't puke into the trashcan. That thing was a designer-trashcan!

With me being prepared, it never got as bad as the first time, when I wasn’t around. The doctor was right, this was totally unpredictable. Once we slept in the bathroom, in front of the toilet.


3)
At least Brian did. I was glad when the vomiting finally stopped and he fell asleep. So that I didn’t wake him up again, but put the blanket over him and sat down, leaned against the wall and took his head in my lap. It had been a rough day. Thank god he was asleep, so he couldn’t see my tears.

The other time he just puked twice, but got chills again and called it a good day when he woke up the next morning. The day after the radiation he was always very tired and slept most of time.


4)
The pain was gone and I think he finally trusted that I wouldn’t leave him just because he had lost a ball, but he was still insecure about his weakness.

It was the night before the next radiation when we laid in bed after he'd blown me once more. Sometimes I guessed it was his way to say thank you.

"So, what was your plan?“ I asked him.

"My plan for what?“

"Your plan for getting me back when this is over and you finally realize that you’re as good as before even without two original balls.“

He just laughed.

5)
It was a mix of feelings for me. I was nervous everytime we came home from a radiation, because I didn’t know how bad it would be. I was sad and helpless when the vomiting started and I couldn’t do anything to make it better. I was worried when the vomiting seemed to never stop. I cried when he fell asleep and I just laid there and stared at the ceiling. I was happy when he woke up and felt good or even hungry.

Every night, after he fell asleep, I called Daphne. I just had to talk to someone.



TBC

Comments

[pam81.livejournal.com]

Wonderful update sweetie.
Designer trash can.. of course, what else for Mr. Kinney? ;)

Yep, I think too that all the blowjobs are his way to say 'thank you'

And Justin... My heart hurts for him. He's doing great in this situation, but it must be so hard for him to see Brian in pain.
Glad he can talk to Daphne.

The image of Brian's head in Justin's lap is so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you for that sweet comment :)