In Between, Part 2 (Cancer)

[soulmatejunkee]

Title: In Between, Part 2/?
Author: soulmatejunkee 
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: What happened between episode 4.09 and 4.10 (POV’s). It starts right after "Eat some fucking chicken soup". 
Word Count: 400 words (drabbles)
Summary: I am writing on it since weeks, so I just thought, maybe I should start posting it
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: No beta, I hope there aren't so many mistakes in it! After all, I am a german girl, so don’t be so strickt. Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

Part 1


Brian's POV

1)
Of course he was right, I should’ve told him about the cancer. I knew that he wouldn’t leave me. He would’ve stayed, he would’ve taken care of me and that is exactly what I didn’t want him to do. Or rather, what I couldn’t stand. I hated being weak and sick and I hated not being able to take care of myself. I always did everything by myself. I never asked anyone for anything since I was a child, old enough to realize that I have nothing to expect from my so called parents.

2)
I remember when Michael was sick once – of course, nothing serious, just a flu. We were 15 years old. And I remember how I felt when I saw Debbie taking care of him. Cooking chicken soup, touching him, hugging him, holding him, helping him. He was annoyed by it, but I was fascinated. Debbie isn’t a good example for what a normal mother should be, most of time she’s way too much to take and it can be very embarrassing to be her child, but she did everything for Michael, always, and all I wanted – back then – was what he had.

3)
Soon I started to make their home my safe place. But not when I was sick, after all, Debbie wasn’t my mother, so I didn’t ask her for anything. When I got sick I just tried to get over it. The older I got the easier it was. My mother barely noticed me.

I started to take care of myself. I know smoking and drinking isn’t anything good, but I thought I could balance that with healthy food and sports. It worked. I was healthy and in shape, everything was perfect. Until I got a blow job from a doctor.

4)
If it was possible, my body hurt even more when I tried to climb up the stairs to my bed. I was tired, I just wanted to sleep, but I was aware that Justin might want to talk. He knows I don’t do apologies, unfortunately he gives a shit about what I do and don’t do. Most of time, in the end I do things I thought I would never do – just because of him. And sometimes I do things I shouldn’t do - just because of him. Like admitting that we’re partners! Me - a partner – in a relationship.


TBC

Comments

[sjmpets.livejournal.com]

baring his soul seems to be good for him even if he's keeping it to himself.

[soulmatejunkee.livejournal.com]

I would've loved if he would had opened up to Justin right here, but I guess that would be AU and I am just planning a gapfiller... *gg*