Post surgery post and some apologies, etc...

[soulmatejunkee]

I haven't been around much lately... sorry for that. But life (or better, health) hasn't been so nice to me during the last few months.

It started in April last year with toothache and never stopped, so to say. In the end I lost 3 teeth on the left upper jaw, but the pain was still there. Then they told me it might be trifacial neuralgic syndrome and I got some (hardcore) pills... nothing changed or got better. The opposite, it got worse and worse. Painkillers became my companion, so to say. But then, in December it became worse again. The pills didn't work anymore and on top of that I became a hardcore headache. I ended up crying in the doctors office when I went there for blood collection.

In the afternoon I went to the orthopedist and after 2 weeks of headache he set me. The headache didn't go away for another week. So... Christmas sucked like hell! The orthopedist also told me to go to a specialist for the jaw.

The next tooth started hurting and my dentist told me that I have to go to the ENT specialist, because there's nothing wrong with the tooth. After 2 CT's and MRT's they told me it's because of my maxillary sinus and that I need surgery.

The specialist for the jaw then told me that I have CMD (craniomandibuläre dysfunktion), I don't know the right word in English. It's when you bite "wrong". And he told me that this might be the reason for the toothache and that I need a bite splint. But before I got this (January), the pain became worse again. I was just shadow of myself, all I was doing was waiting for the next pain moment to come up.

As a result the neurologist gave me antidepressant, which left me terribly tired during the first 2 weeks, but didn't kill the pain. In the middle of January I finally got my bite splint and what can I say... it helped for the BIG pain. It got better.

I also went to the ergo therapist who helped me to relax, because all the pain over months left me hardcore tensed. So... slowly it became better. Some days were really good, some not. Even though the big pain was gone, my tooth still hurt and the painkillers still didn't help me.

On March 4th I went for surgery and well, since then I'm home (last day, I have to go back to work tomorrow). My left maxillary sinus still hurts but the doctors said it needs 4-6 weeks to completely heal. I have to flush out my nose 4-5 times per day... very bloody sometimes.

Yeah, that's the pain story of the last year *sigh*
I can't tell you how fucking (!) tired I am of all this! All I want is to get my life back! Seriously, you don't know what being pain-free means as long as you are not in pain! *sigh again*

Because of this I wasn't around on LJ much lately ... or anywhere else for that matter. My muse completely disappeared, and so there was no chance for writing or anything else. All the EKG-Girls still wrote for all the birthdays, but I couldn't. And I'm really sorry for that. :(

I want to thank pet0511, pam81 and guavejuice for all their nice words and E-Mails during that shitty time. *hugs you all*

Let's get to the better stuff...

Another QAF-Convention this year. Los Angeles this time! I always wanted to go to L.A., since I was a child, and now I finally have a reason. Together with pam81 I will be there for one week and of course for the Convention. And even though it's expensive, I have to say it's a lot less expensive than I expected it to be. Here I want to thank Elke reiselust161 for all her help, for finding a flight, etc.

So, okay, guess that's it so far...
Thanks for reading.

*hug you all*

Comments

[susi-m.livejournal.com]

Es freut mich zu hören, dass es dir langsam etwas besser geht. Ich drück dir ganz ganz doll die Daumen, dass bald auch der letzte Schmerz verschwunden ist und du wieder zurück zu deinem alten selbst bist. Unter anderem, damit du L.A. zusammen mit Pam so richtig genießen kannst.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

aww... my darling LS...
I knew you were going through some shitty time but I didn't know how much you really had to go through. Stay strong my dear, focus on yourself and don't apologize.
I'm glad you're doing better now. Keep thinking about your trip to L.A with Pam to see Randy and the rest of the gang.
looove you
*hugs you gently*
V.

[mander3-swish.livejournal.com]

wow! and owwwwwww! to say that totally sucks is an understatement!! but yay you're on the mend and have a new and wonderful con to look forward too!!!!
*hugs*

[manueladb.livejournal.com]

I didn't know the situation was so bad. I'm so sorry you had to go through so much pain. I hope now you got surgery things can really start getting better.

I'm sure you'll have fun in LA. I wish I could come with you and Pam, we had such a good time in Germany.

[bodleian.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that this has happened to you and I hope that you fully recover very quickly. Take care and enjoy the convention.

[galehot.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine the time you had went through. When things start to go wrong they all turn wrong at the same time!!
Really hopy it gets better from now on and you get back your life!

I've missed you.
Besos, kisses, целую.

[later2nite.livejournal.com]

Jesus! You've really been through the wringer! So sorry you've been in so much pain. I hope it continues to get better for you.

That's great that you're going to L.A. I'll be there, too. Can't wait to meet you and Pam in person! ♥

Hugs,
Linda

[britinmanor.livejournal.com]

Oh my gracious, Steffi. This is just pure awful. The pain sounds excruciating. I am so sorry you had to go through that, Sweetie. I hope you are on the mend and stay like that.

Hugs ~ Cathy

[love4movies.livejournal.com]

Um Himmels Willen!!! :O Was für eine furchtbare Geschichte! Es tut mir so Leid, dass Du so eine schmerzhafte und vor allem lange Zeit hinter Dich bringen musstest. Schrecklich, dass es so lange gedauert hat, Dir helfen zu können und ich hoffe, dass es Dir nun wieder besser geht bis Du vollständig gesund bist.

Alles, alles Gute.

[xheartrockx.livejournal.com]

Ewww, das klingt ja echt fies. Hab selber grad nen bissi Zahnschmerzen, was allein schon eklig ist, aber das alles.... nicht schön. Aber freut mich zu hören, dass es besser wird.

Und freut mich, dass wir uns (wahrscheinlich) in LA sehen :)

[randysgirl-645.livejournal.com]

glad you're feeling a bit better :) sucks being in pain!

[chloris01.livejournal.com]

Oh my God....
No wonder you weren't around.

I wish you a wonderful time in L.A. !! You deserve it !

[kinnetikdreams.livejournal.com]

Sorry things have been so tough for you. Hope you have the most wonderful time in L A - xxxxx

[altair65.livejournal.com]

OMG! I'm so sorry for you baby! I checked your LJ page time to time and that's the reason why you weren't around! I hope you find the final solution and you're getting better since now on. Wish you the best for your health. Take care of you! And I'm very happy you'll attend to the LA QAF-con... I think it'll be the best anti-depressant for all diseases!