Thanks to the wonderful bergergrey, who has a lot of work done with the translation, here my review in English:
As announced, I reread the story from the beginning and I’m even done with the epilogue. I took my time and gave it lots of thought once again.
It’s no secret that I’m a fan of your story. I’d like to tell you why your “sequel” is still the best in my opinion.
Your story is realistic and reasonable in every aspect. It does justice to the characters 100 %. The narrative tempo fits perfectly and it never gets boring. The balance between plot and angst also fits.
You are able to write a romantic plot without drifting into fluff and I like your sense of humour. You wrote sad moments with a minimum of words which affected me more than page long descriptions of drama. You show an exceptional talent here. You described multilayered characters and made me, the reader, think about them. And that’s exactly what I excpect from a good story. Plus, Brian and Justin didn’t say “baby” for one single time. A great big extra thank you for this.
Here are a few more thoughts on the story:
You made it clear, that it’s very unrealistic for Justin to become a famous painter right away after having arrived in New York. He realized it for himself very soon that he was naïve to think so in the first place. But he tried and suceeded with small steps. I understood that he had to have this kind of success, his sacrifice would have been too big otherwise.
You were able to show Brian’s self-consciuosness in a very good way. He seems to be the world’s biggest pessimist and he always expects the worst to happen. He’s not able to enjoy the present and during Justin’s visits he keeps thinking of nothing but his departure. Justin is having a hard time convincing him to trust in their relationship.
You were able to show a character development without writing fluffy moments or drifting into ooc descriptions. I could always feel that both of them are equal partners. When one was feeling down the other one cared for him. They made mistakes (and were allowed to do so).
I liked especially how you described a long-distance relationship. I was into one myself for five years and while I was reading your story I realized a couple of things which I hadn’t seen at that time. There is a subtle drifting apart which you were able to describe very well. Thank heavens, they got their act together and I was really happy that Justin went home eventually.
You let them solve their problems by themselves and they finally started talking to each other. About past things and about their wishes and expectations. Justin pointing out that he no longer wanted to tolerate Brian’s tricking was music to my ears. I also liked the thought of making Britin a “safe place”. Brian finally admitted that he was heartstricken by Justin’s constant leaving him. It’s obvious that you can’t trust someone then.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninetydegrees
Part 1
on 2012-07-15 04:18 pm (UTC)As announced, I reread the story from the beginning and I’m even done with the epilogue. I took my time and gave it lots of thought once again.
It’s no secret that I’m a fan of your story. I’d like to tell you why your “sequel” is still the best in my opinion.
Your story is realistic and reasonable in every aspect. It does justice to the characters 100 %. The narrative tempo fits perfectly and it never gets boring. The balance between plot and angst also fits.
You are able to write a romantic plot without drifting into fluff and I like your sense of humour. You wrote sad moments with a minimum of words which affected me more than page long descriptions of drama. You show an exceptional talent here. You described multilayered characters and made me, the reader,
think about them. And that’s exactly what I excpect from a good story. Plus, Brian and Justin didn’t say “baby” for one single time. A great big extra thank you for this.
Here are a few more thoughts on the story:
You made it clear, that it’s very unrealistic for Justin to become a famous painter right away after having arrived in New York. He realized it for himself very soon that he was naïve to think so in the first place. But he tried and suceeded with small steps. I understood that he had to have this kind of success, his sacrifice would have been too big otherwise.
You were able to show Brian’s self-consciuosness in a very good way. He seems to be the world’s biggest pessimist and he always expects the worst to happen. He’s not able to enjoy the present and during Justin’s visits he keeps thinking of nothing but his departure. Justin is having a hard time convincing him to trust in their relationship.
You were able to show a character development without writing fluffy moments or drifting into ooc descriptions. I could always feel that both of them are equal partners. When one was feeling down the other one cared for him. They made mistakes (and were allowed to do so).
I liked especially how you described a long-distance relationship. I was into one myself for five years and while I was reading your story I realized a couple of things which I hadn’t seen at that time. There is a subtle drifting apart which you were able to describe very well. Thank heavens, they got their act together and I was really happy that Justin went home eventually.
You let them solve their problems by themselves and they finally started talking to each other. About past things and about their wishes and expectations. Justin pointing out that he no longer wanted to tolerate Brian’s tricking was music to my ears. I also liked the thought of making Britin a “safe place”.
Brian finally admitted that he was heartstricken by Justin’s constant leaving him. It’s obvious that you can’t trust someone then.