Oh. I expected bad events but I never saw this coming. Staring at my iPad here, coffee getting cold... Brian's POV: while reading his thoughts I think I made a first time experience. I understood his feelings from A-Z. We never saw Brian post513 but we saw him during Justin's stay in L.A. and I think after all the events in season5 it makes sense that Brian is acting and thinking the way you described. He tried to cooperate with Kinnetik, the long distance relationship, his feelings for Justin, his own life, his friends. He really tried, for the first time in his life he was engaged in things, despite his fears and griefs, tried to get over them. When Justin didn't call that one night I see him, Brian, waiting. Waiting and "knowing" at the same time: this is the moment he knew it would come. Not even thinking about a harmless reason why Justin didn't answer, that didn't even reach his mind- because he knew the reason, he just knew. So much that he never had the idea to check his mails...God when I read this until he got the call in the next morning I felt his pain in my own heart. This >30 year old love-virgin was going through all the heartbreak pain people experience mostly in their teen years, and just because he did all he could do to hold every emotion at the bay for 30years, now, when he allowed them and accepted them, the force of all the long defended emotions is so much stronger to crash over him than for normal people who learned these lessons from beginning. And I don't think he even nearly recovered when Justin arrived for the holidays... Justin's POV: One reason why I love this story so much is that it is IC. Justin is showed like in QAF, and both Justin's aren't just the lovely flawless boys, pressed in the role of a victim. Justin made mistakes, some we can excuse because of his age. So I can give him credit here for his behaviour related to his internet project, we talked about that earlier in the story. It doesn't matter if we can understand him....Justin with his past as twinkie in a group of grown ups, always the little Sunshine, needed more independence as normal to cut the ties to his past. So asking Brian for help was a no go, I see that. Even when it seemed to be silly sometimes not to tell Brian about his projects, making a much bigger deal of it as it really was, I believe it has been the only way to contain his independence. Telling Brian...we all know that Brian had tried to interfere, surely in an objective positive way and with a good motivation but subjective it had been a loss if independence for Justin. I get this. But nonetheless: I also understand Brian's reaction after learning about the project generally. Over the months he must have made uncounted guess about the meaning of Justin's big secret project. For Brian, in business since years, the webside can not be a big deal, it's not much more than a basic like working space, some you just need, I guess. And to absolutely fucking top this Ethan made an appereance. The worst nightmare, a name who wasn't ever in Brian's vocabulary, came back. That alone had to be a shocker for Brian, one, I can understand. But then learning that this nightmare was allowed, no even asked for help by Justin, help in things which are touching business fields of the ad-man Brian....I see and understand Brian crashing down and, how do we say, loosing all ground under his feets. I know Justin didn't do anything wrong with Ethan but how can Brian know? What does he have to think after his past experience and then after being Brian with all the fears he has without even Ethan reappearing once again??? You see that's the reason why I decided early in my life not to lie. Or not to tell things I know that they are important for others to know about. If you do so it's always the same: some time the lies or the not told things will come back and fuck you and not in a good way. And even when he is still young Justin likes to say and think he is so smart - but let's face it: neither his not mentioning about Ethan in the past months nor his reaction now is really smart. Or sensitive. Neither his words mor his offensive behaviour and surely not his leaving for the night. Ttyl, Pet
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I expected bad events but I never saw this coming. Staring at my iPad here, coffee getting cold...
Brian's POV: while reading his thoughts I think I made a first time experience. I understood his feelings from A-Z. We never saw Brian post513 but we saw him during Justin's stay in L.A. and I think after all the events in season5 it makes sense that Brian is acting and thinking the way you described. He tried to cooperate with Kinnetik, the long distance relationship, his feelings for Justin, his own life, his friends. He really tried, for the first time in his life he was engaged in things, despite his fears and griefs, tried to get over them. When Justin didn't call that one night I see him, Brian, waiting. Waiting and "knowing" at the same time: this is the moment he knew it would come. Not even thinking about a harmless reason why Justin didn't answer, that didn't even reach his mind- because he knew the reason, he just knew. So much that he never had the idea to check his mails...God when I read this until he got the call in the next morning I felt his pain in my own heart. This >30 year old love-virgin was going through all the heartbreak pain people experience mostly in their teen years, and just because he did all he could do to hold every emotion at the bay for 30years, now, when he allowed them and accepted them, the force of all the long defended emotions is so much stronger to crash over him than for normal people who learned these lessons from beginning.
And I don't think he even nearly recovered when Justin arrived for the holidays...
Justin's POV: One reason why I love this story so much is that it is IC. Justin is showed like in QAF, and both Justin's aren't just the lovely flawless boys, pressed in the role of a victim. Justin made mistakes, some we can excuse because of his age. So I can give him credit here for his behaviour related to his internet project, we talked about that earlier in the story. It doesn't matter if we can understand him....Justin with his past as twinkie in a group of grown ups, always the little Sunshine, needed more independence as normal to cut the ties to his past. So asking Brian for help was a no go, I see that. Even when it seemed to be silly sometimes not to tell Brian about his projects, making a much bigger deal of it as it really was, I believe it has been the only way to contain his independence. Telling Brian...we all know that Brian had tried to interfere, surely in an objective positive way and with a good motivation but subjective it had been a loss if independence for Justin. I get this. But nonetheless: I also understand Brian's reaction after learning about the project generally.
Over the months he must have made uncounted guess about the meaning of Justin's big secret project. For Brian, in business since years, the webside can not be a big deal, it's not much more than a basic like working space, some you just need, I guess.
And to absolutely fucking top this Ethan made an appereance. The worst nightmare, a name who wasn't ever in Brian's vocabulary, came back. That alone had to be a shocker for Brian, one, I can understand. But then learning that this nightmare was allowed, no even asked for help by Justin, help in things which are touching business fields of the ad-man Brian....I see and understand Brian crashing down and, how do we say, loosing all ground under his feets. I know Justin didn't do anything wrong with Ethan but how can Brian know? What does he have to think after his past experience and then after being Brian with all the fears he has without even Ethan reappearing once again???
You see that's the reason why I decided early in my life not to lie. Or not to tell things I know that they are important for others to know about. If you do so it's always the same: some time the lies or the not told things will come back and fuck you and not in a good way. And even when he is still young Justin likes to say and think he is so smart - but let's face it: neither his not mentioning about Ethan in the past months nor his reaction now is really smart. Or sensitive. Neither his words mor his offensive behaviour and surely not his leaving for the night.
Ttyl, Pet