Hi! I read the chap in the night once and now for the second time. Had to think about it. I watched Brian the whole time, saw him with Justin, then with Justin and Gus, then once more with Justin. All the time I saw him standing there like an outsider, watching scenes and not really sharing them. His sadness was always there, sometimes it nearly poured out of him. In some ways he seldom was a part of the action, only looking. And I wondered why I didn't find it strange to see him this way - I mean he is in some ways an very active man, always doing something, always in rush, but in these interactions he was like frozen in himself. I couldn't really say unhappy, it was more like some grounded deep sadness which seemed to embrace him, and I didn't find this strange? Today, after. the second reading I realized no! It's not strange because it is Brian. Your Brian as the perfect continued show Brian is nearly most of the time this way. I thought about the show and I think I never had thought about it so strong but there were so few and so little moments when we saw a relaxed Brian who didn't have this aura of sadness and loneliness around him. Justin thought in this chap Brian was complicated. I don't know, ok, yes, for a person like Justin who is positive and joyful and can live and enjoy moments without thinking at tomorrow sometimes, this Justin must see Brian as complicated. And it must make Justin crazy not being able to transfer his own happy and relaxed moments at least partly to Brian. But then I thought: Justin has to know that Brian has always been this way. Thinking about the show...how often has Justin seen him happy? How many relaxed and content moments did they have together? It's scaring how rare those moments have been.... So, once more you followed your soulmate and BJ way. For me, after not having read soulmate for many many days :-) it was scaring how fast and deep I was drawn in the characters and scenes once more, the sog started from letter one and after a few I was in. Jesses! The hotel sex was good. No, not because of 6 in 3 :-), that was good too, but it fitted just in this moment, don't know if it was a coincidence... all the closed up energie of all the feelings Brian had closed up and didn't let out, captured in himself, they exploded in the hotel room. Yes, I know, Brian has always sexual energy but it is no porn story here, we see the person Brian here like he is in the show and by God: Brian really is so much more than only a sexual being, right? So in the hotel, it wasn't about only sex, it was about finally having a way to let out, give back all his enclosured feelings. And Brian-Gus. I understand his insecurity, it is typical Brianish. Lets face it: the munchers didn't do anything to help Brian to get over this insecurities over the years. I think he is exactly in the place they wanted and still want him. Justins talk with Lindsay and his wish for Gus to call Brian...we all know Justin is smart but please! His idea isn't higher science! I really think Lindsay could have got this idea all by herself IF she wanted and thought about it. Anyway, all the interaction between Gus and Justin felt natural and good and I loved Justin for trying to make it easier and good for Brian as well. And so, when Gus called his dad in the end, I smiled a big fat happy smile. This was MY typical soulmate end! After long minutes embraced esp by Brians feelings I....ha, I can say I saw the light!!!!! Good? My dear soulmate, one perfect end for Thanksgiving. Thanks so much. And because you know I'm the most patient person here....can you just give me, us a tip for the point you plan to continue the story? Christmas or the timeframe between Th. and Christmas? Or after Christmas? Hugs to you! Pet
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I read the chap in the night once and now for the second time. Had to think about it.
I watched Brian the whole time, saw him with Justin, then with Justin and Gus, then once more with Justin. All the time I saw him standing there like an outsider, watching scenes and not really sharing them. His sadness was always there, sometimes it nearly poured out of him. In some ways he seldom was a part of the action, only looking. And I wondered why I didn't find it strange to see him this way - I mean he is in some ways an very active man, always doing something, always in rush, but in these interactions he was like frozen in himself. I couldn't really say unhappy, it was more like some grounded deep sadness which seemed to embrace him, and I didn't find this strange? Today, after. the second reading I realized no! It's not strange because it is Brian. Your Brian as the perfect continued show Brian is nearly most of the time this way. I thought about the show and I think I never had thought about it so strong but there were so few and so little moments when we saw a relaxed Brian who didn't have this aura of sadness and loneliness around him.
Justin thought in this chap Brian was complicated. I don't know, ok, yes, for a person like Justin who is positive and joyful and can live and enjoy moments without thinking at tomorrow sometimes, this Justin must see Brian as complicated. And it must make Justin crazy not being able to transfer his own happy and relaxed moments at least partly to Brian. But then I thought: Justin has to know that Brian has always been this way. Thinking about the show...how often has Justin seen him happy? How many relaxed and content moments did they have together? It's scaring how rare those moments have been....
So, once more you followed your soulmate and BJ way. For me, after not having read soulmate for many many days :-) it was scaring how fast and deep I was drawn in the characters and scenes once more, the sog started from letter one and after a few I was in. Jesses!
The hotel sex was good. No, not because of 6 in 3 :-), that was good too, but it fitted just in this moment, don't know if it was a coincidence... all the closed up energie of all the feelings Brian had closed up and didn't let out, captured in himself, they exploded in the hotel room. Yes, I know, Brian has always sexual energy but it is no porn story here, we see the person Brian here like he is in the show and by God: Brian really is so much more than only a sexual being, right? So in the hotel, it wasn't about only sex, it was about finally having a way to let out, give back all his enclosured feelings.
And Brian-Gus. I understand his insecurity, it is typical Brianish. Lets face it: the munchers didn't do anything to help Brian to get over this insecurities over the years. I think he is exactly in the place they wanted and still want him. Justins talk with Lindsay and his wish for Gus to call Brian...we all know Justin is smart but please! His idea isn't higher science! I really think Lindsay could have got this idea all by herself IF she wanted and thought about it. Anyway, all the interaction between Gus and Justin felt natural and good and I loved Justin for trying to make it easier and good for Brian as well. And so, when Gus called his dad in the end, I smiled a big fat happy smile. This was MY typical soulmate end! After long minutes embraced esp by Brians feelings I....ha, I can say I saw the light!!!!! Good?
My dear soulmate, one perfect end for Thanksgiving. Thanks so much.
And because you know I'm the most patient person here....can you just give me, us a tip for the point you plan to continue the story? Christmas or the timeframe between Th. and Christmas? Or after Christmas?
Hugs to you! Pet