Oh. Wished I had waited for the next chap. No I´m making a fool of myself.. Ok. First the facts. The memory board at the clinic - does it give something like this in real? I pictured myself standing in front of such a board...fuck, that would be hard stuff. To Brian: Of course I didn´t know because I couldn´t know but I KNEW that he wouldn´t try to get rid of Justin. Your Brian picks up at the moment the show finished. And anybody can say that he hasn´t changed by then. All the thoughts he told us through you showed: he is still on the way. His doubts and his struggle, I think these are coming with his character and will never leave him but that´s just he. But in the end he is trying to give him and Justin a chance, so he was glad to see him at the clinic and the behaviour in the loft, letting Justin held him, just laying on him - that´s so Brian. And who needs words in those moments? Sometimes words just don´t fit. And Justin...I think he knows very well what is going on at Brian´s mind for the last month since him leaving Pittsburgh. He tried since then and still does it now, since seeing Brian at the clinic, to find a balance to make his two goals real: to never let Brian forget that he wants him and to find his own way for independence, for proofing himself and the others that he can do it alone. Yes, you all are right to say they have to work on their communication, and I could sometimes just cry when I read some passages but this ff is always trying to give B/J in character, and the QAF-Justin was like we see him here, at least after S1. So it fits here perfectly. And he is here for Brian, and it was very clever not to tell Brian about gotten fired - that could have been over all tolerance Brian was able to give to Justin and even more himself at this surprising moment (we know Brian isn´t just a big lover of surprises so we can see here how desperate he felt in the clinic). Ok, and now, you didn´t expect for me to leave the last sentence uncommented, did you? In the beginning I said: I´m going to make a fool of myself and so I will. I say it anyway. I´m beginning to change into a Brian. That was a joke, but maybe after lots of ff and then those like the soulmate´s, which I really try to absorb, I mean I´m getting to know and understand him better and better. Pathetic Pet, Brian isn´t real. Ok, anyway, I read the last scene, Brian laying on Justin, Justin´s thoughts and then his ILY, and before I read Brians last POV I thought: that wasn´t the right moment to say this and only this. It I had the words I would describe it more but I hadn´t like to hear ILY in this moment and in this way. Would be to easy to say it sounds like a good bye for me, good bye for what...? Did Justin just give up? I don´t think Justin had those crazy thoughts at all by saying ILY but Pet+Brian (crazy dancing round the desk now because finally loosing my mind) aren´t working so easy and straight. Do you have any idea what I like to say here? ILY can be the best to hear but it also can better be unsaid because it sounds like a phrase, the most used one and the most betrayed one. Here we need other words, words with whom? we show that we are standing by, in front, over, behind, besides the beloved person. Better? Puh. Don´t laugh and don´t hate me. I´m finished. Short summary: I loved the chap! So much. Now the wait begins for more but for this I love to wait, it´s worth it! Later! Pet
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Ok. First the facts. The memory board at the clinic - does it give something like this in real? I pictured myself standing in front of such a board...fuck, that would be hard stuff.
To Brian: Of course I didn´t know because I couldn´t know but I KNEW that he wouldn´t try to get rid of Justin. Your Brian picks up at the moment the show finished. And anybody can say that he hasn´t changed by then. All the thoughts he told us through you showed: he is still on the way. His doubts and his struggle, I think these are coming with his character and will never leave him but that´s just he. But in the end he is trying to give him and Justin a chance, so he was glad to see him at the clinic and the behaviour in the loft, letting Justin held him, just laying on him - that´s so Brian. And who needs words in those moments? Sometimes words just don´t fit.
And Justin...I think he knows very well what is going on at Brian´s mind for the last month since him leaving Pittsburgh. He tried since then and still does it now, since seeing Brian at the clinic, to find a balance to make his two goals real: to never let Brian forget that he wants him and to find his own way for independence, for proofing himself and the others that he can do it alone. Yes, you all are right to say they have to work on their communication, and I could sometimes just cry when I read some passages but this ff is always trying to give B/J in character, and the QAF-Justin was like we see him here, at least after S1. So it fits here perfectly. And he is here for Brian, and it was very clever not to tell Brian about gotten fired - that could have been over all tolerance Brian was able to give to Justin and even more himself at this surprising moment (we know Brian isn´t just a big lover of surprises so we can see here how desperate he felt in the clinic).
Ok, and now, you didn´t expect for me to leave the last sentence uncommented, did you? In the beginning I said: I´m going to make a fool of myself and so I will. I say it anyway. I´m beginning to change into a Brian. That was a joke, but maybe after lots of ff and then those like the soulmate´s, which I really try to absorb, I mean I´m getting to know and understand him better and better. Pathetic Pet, Brian isn´t real. Ok, anyway, I read the last scene, Brian laying on Justin, Justin´s thoughts and then his ILY, and before I read Brians last POV I thought: that wasn´t the right moment to say this and only this. It I had the words I would describe it more but I hadn´t like to hear ILY in this moment and in this way. Would be to easy to say it sounds like a good bye for me, good bye for what...? Did Justin just give up? I don´t think Justin had those crazy thoughts at all by saying ILY but Pet+Brian (crazy dancing round the desk now because finally loosing my mind) aren´t working so easy and straight. Do you have any idea what I like to say here? ILY can be the best to hear but it also can better be unsaid because it sounds like a phrase, the most used one and the most betrayed one. Here we need other words, words with whom? we show that we are standing by, in front, over, behind, besides the beloved person. Better?
Puh. Don´t laugh and don´t hate me. I´m finished.
Short summary: I loved the chap! So much.
Now the wait begins for more but for this I love to wait, it´s worth it!
Later! Pet