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soulmatejunkee) wrote2010-10-18 08:15 am
soulmatejunkee) wrote2010-10-18 08:15 am
Entry tags:
Listen to me
Title: Listen to me (Oneshot/Gapfiller)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
soulmatejunkee
Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: Episode 5.13, the last scene between them, Justin's POV
Word Count: 504
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta byqafkinnetic (Thanks a lot!)
Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Justin's POV
I don’t know if he’s crying, it’s dark and it’s silent. He just holds me, his face between my shoulder and my neck, his fingers buried in my hair. I can feel his breath and his sweat. He’s scared, it was all over his face the entire time and now it’s over. I have to go, I have to leave. Just two hours before my flight goes. Just three hours until I start a new life in New York city.
I was strong, I tried and it worked. Because no matter where I live, no matter where he lives, it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t have to change anything. But right now, with him in my arms, the angst in his eyes fresh in my mind, I get scared, too.
We already failed without being separated and now we would live hundreds of miles away from each other. There was no fast fuck, no sitting together, no dinner or breakfast together.
I’m not afraid for the same reasons as he is. I know he thinks that I won’t come back, that I will move on, forget about him and find someone new, someone better and that he’s going to lose me for good. I’m afraid because he thinks that. I need him to believe in us, too. I can’t do it all alone, not with me living in New York and him living here. I need him to make this work.
"Listen to me,“ I whisper. "I love you. Not for the fucks, I love you just because of who you are. With all your flaws and all your insecurities and because you love me.“
His breath gets harder, I think he’s crying or at least trying to hold his tears back, because he doesn’t believe me. I know he doesn’t. He tries, but he can’t.
I put my hand on his neck to hold him close. "We’ll make this work. But you have to help me. Whenever I call you, answer me. When I say I miss you, tell me that you miss me, too. When I miss you too much and wanna come home for a weekend or a week, be there and when you miss me too much, then come and see me. Don’t cut me out, don’t keep things from me, don’t play it cool, and don’t freak out when I don’t call back the same day or don’t answer your email in a minute. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you and don’t miss you. And whenever you start thinking that we won’t make it, remember this: I love you.“
He still doesn’t believe me, but I know he will try to make it work, he’ll help me. And with him helping me I can do this. I can live in New York. I can be successful. Because I have nothing to lose. He’s here, with me, we’ll make this work. He kisses my neck. I have to go.
"Call me when you’re there, I’ll answer“, he whispers.
The End
Author:
soulmatejunkee Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: Episode 5.13, the last scene between them, Justin's POV
Word Count: 504
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by
qafkinnetic (Thanks a lot!)Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Justin's POV
I don’t know if he’s crying, it’s dark and it’s silent. He just holds me, his face between my shoulder and my neck, his fingers buried in my hair. I can feel his breath and his sweat. He’s scared, it was all over his face the entire time and now it’s over. I have to go, I have to leave. Just two hours before my flight goes. Just three hours until I start a new life in New York city.
I was strong, I tried and it worked. Because no matter where I live, no matter where he lives, it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t have to change anything. But right now, with him in my arms, the angst in his eyes fresh in my mind, I get scared, too.
We already failed without being separated and now we would live hundreds of miles away from each other. There was no fast fuck, no sitting together, no dinner or breakfast together.
I’m not afraid for the same reasons as he is. I know he thinks that I won’t come back, that I will move on, forget about him and find someone new, someone better and that he’s going to lose me for good. I’m afraid because he thinks that. I need him to believe in us, too. I can’t do it all alone, not with me living in New York and him living here. I need him to make this work.
"Listen to me,“ I whisper. "I love you. Not for the fucks, I love you just because of who you are. With all your flaws and all your insecurities and because you love me.“
His breath gets harder, I think he’s crying or at least trying to hold his tears back, because he doesn’t believe me. I know he doesn’t. He tries, but he can’t.
I put my hand on his neck to hold him close. "We’ll make this work. But you have to help me. Whenever I call you, answer me. When I say I miss you, tell me that you miss me, too. When I miss you too much and wanna come home for a weekend or a week, be there and when you miss me too much, then come and see me. Don’t cut me out, don’t keep things from me, don’t play it cool, and don’t freak out when I don’t call back the same day or don’t answer your email in a minute. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you and don’t miss you. And whenever you start thinking that we won’t make it, remember this: I love you.“
He still doesn’t believe me, but I know he will try to make it work, he’ll help me. And with him helping me I can do this. I can live in New York. I can be successful. Because I have nothing to lose. He’s here, with me, we’ll make this work. He kisses my neck. I have to go.
"Call me when you’re there, I’ll answer“, he whispers.
The End